All I can say is, thank god I didn't do drugs last night.
Shoot, that's just not as fun to say as when I was in my twenties. Especially when the drugs I'm referring to are prescribed. My pain management Dr. prescribed a new medication for me, so I read up on it online last night. After reading a couple of legitimate pages from sources such as WebMD, I then took a gander at a blog that robbed me of an whole hour, but I got many laughs out of it as she was Funny with a capital F. What began as describing her story with migraines and weaning off this particular drug, turned into me reading all her posts from the last few months. It turns out that she's a Dr, so it gave the perspective of someone who took this drug and was able to understand all those big words in the warnings. While she didn't experience any of the really bad side effects that others reported, she was also using it for a different reason.
I also read some from a page called "CrazyMeds". Hmmm, I'm not crazy, am I? HAHAHA... gotcha! Yes, I'm crazy, but it doesn't bother me. This medication is not to treat my crazy, though. There's no helping that. This medication is to treat nerve pain and muscle cramps, and hopefully with the side effect of helping me sleep. I started having these "not sleeping" issues about a year and a half ago, and now my tolerance to (natural) sleep aids has forced me to try stronger things. My PCM gave me Ambien, but my pain management Dr. said he really didn't like to put patients on that. So, two weeks ago we tried a muscle relaxer that was to help with the awful cramping in my feet and legs AND help me sleep, but the dose is not keeping me asleep, plus I'm still having the muscle cramping. Which brings us to this new drug. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to take it. People's reviews seemed to be 50/50. Some said it was amazing and saved their lives, and that the tingles they got were a small price to pay.... then others said their eyeballs nearly popped out of their heads (OK, slight exaggeration); they lost a lot of hair (I cannot spare the hair); one person (or two) said they heard voices; others felt highly aggressive; and then the grand finale of weaning off too quickly can cause seizures. This is the point where I say "Legalize, already!". No Daddy, I don't really mean that. **To all you others: wink, wink**
Disclaimer: (before some self-righteous person judges me for that little joke) I do NOT use any drugs or medications that are not prescribed to me. I am extremely structured in managing my pain, even on the bad days when the pain killers don't give more than an hour or two of reprieve. I don't do illegal drugs. I don't even get to enjoy a glass of wine anymore unless I forgo a dose of my pain killer, so that means hardly ever. In a different world, though, I would like to see more natural options. That's all.
Mr. Wonderful is off being wonderful at his job, and the little tater tot and I have several days to ourselves. Oh, wait... let's not forget we have TWO cats. That would be two conniving cats with a very twisted sense of humor. They have their place in this story.
So after reading a lot of reviews on this medication, I decided to keep taking my current medication until Mr. Wonderful gets home. I didn't want to have stark-raving-mad dreams or be incredibly dopey while taking care of tater tot. I went to bed too late last night to feel comfortable trying this new stuff and I want to make sure I have 8-9 hours to sleep the first time I use it. As it is, I already have trouble sleeping and develop super-sonic hearing when he's away. This only sets in once all the lights are out. Last night was no exception. As I snuggled down in the middle of the bed, ready to read from my Kindle, I heard the first bump. I chose to ignore it. Then I heard a scraping noise. I chose to ignore that, too. But by the time I heard the thunk, I had to get out of bed to check the house... again. Tater tot was sound asleep with her lambie. All the doors were locked... still. No one was in the house, hiding behind a door or piece of furniture. But the cats were oddly out of sight. I'm quite sure they were right around the corner, laughing their fat little cat-butts off. After that, I climbed back into bed, ignored all the noises, read for an hour, and thankfully had a good night's sleep. Imagine if you will, though, how bad it could have been if I'd tried the new medication with Mr. Wonderful being gone and two crazy cats plotting to push me over the edge. Add to that the idea of it not being strong enough to get me to sleep, and then hearing all those noises throughout the whole night. No, thank you. I'd like to hold onto my sanity. Remember, my "sanity" may not be your "sanity." But here I am today: drinking my coffee and ready to get on with the day.
My doctor's office called me early this morning about scheduling my next epidural steroid injection, so I asked about this medication. She reassured me that they had several people taking it and no one had reported any of the horrible stuff that I had read about. That makes me feel better, but with these conniving cats and Mr. Wonderful being gone, I'll just stick to what I'm using until he gets home. I want this stuff to work, but I don't want to begin it with negative thoughts and fears that might taint what could be a positive response. But, if you see me in a couple of months with only one eyeball and no hair, please be nice and just tell me my butt looks great. OK?
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