Argh. The pain. I mean, does everybody hurt? Does everybody wake up every day with several things hurting on their body? Am I just a sissy? My back is killing me. The right side of my ribcage AND underneath the right breast still hurts 3 months after the two surgeries. My ankle still hurts to the touch (it happened 4 weeks ago!). My stomach has been jacked up for days. I get aches in my abdomen that feel like a monthly thing, but it's not. My neck's got a crick in it. I've had a few headaches in the past couple of days, and that's not normal for me. I get pains in my chest. Some of these listed pains are not that bad all the time, but my back IS stealing the spotlight right now. I have no clue what I could have done to it. I had a spinal fusion from L3-S1 about 10 years ago, but haven's had any real pain in that area since before I was pregnant with Alyssa. I'm beginning to worry a little because it seems to be getting worse. I realized this when I was talking to my husband. Since we Skype everyday, we usually end up talking about even the smallest, most random things... like where I'm currently hurting. Oh, and I'm not depressed. I know that pain can be a side effect from depression, but this here girl is very happy with life. Not to say I'm not a little stressed with everything that's going on and about to happen in our near future, but I mentally feel really good. Seriously. So anyway, once I realized how often I was telling Bruce "This hurts"and "That hurts", I finally just said "OMG, I WILL quit complaining. Or at least I'll just say "WHINE" when I have a shot of pain." I'm scared I might end up sounding like an alcoholic to the uninformed fly on the wall. Which in case you might be wondering... no, I don't drink. Well, I had a couple of glasses while Kim was here, but it was no wild party.
ARGH. I took some Tylenol about an hour ago, but it's not helping.
What DOES almost depress me is the idea of going to the Dr. on base. I can't stand my PCM, and I've had a couple of not-so-positive experiences at this post clinic, where they obviously couldn't have cared less about doing their job. I just don't have faith that they're even going to take me seriously, so why go, be told I'm fine, leave there feeling like a sissy-whiner, and STILL be in pain? I'm going to go to my bedroom, lay very still, watch TV, and hope I feel better tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Important life lessons, and who taught me mine...
I just put the little princess to bed. She's doing just fabulous in her toddler bed and I am amazed! Although I am also quite aware of the fact that if this is not an issue, there will be an equally opposite (as in difficult) issue to deal with. Y'know... as in conservation of energy. She's only saving it up. That energy will not disappear. Oh no. It will, no-doubt, make its reappearance while I'm running short on nerves. **Wicked laugh** Little does she know, I refuse to let her bring me down with her evil plan! But right now I'm just going to appreciate the ease of which we made it through this rite-of-passage.
Today I sent my husband a list of things I'm thankful for. They pertained directly to him, but it makes me think of other people I'm thankful for. These people have taught me many important things throughout my life:
My husband: Taught me patience. There's no sarcasm to follow this as some women might do. I have learned a different way of communicating with him. He doesn't think his communication skills are that great, but I beg to differ. With him, I've learned that if I wait a few seconds for an answer, he'll always follow through with a well thought out response. It sure does beat a knee-jerk retort when I might innocently be pushing his buttons... not that I would ever do that **wink, wink**.
My daughter: yet again, I must say patience. That, and the strength to keep my eyes open when I'm beyond exhausted but she's awake for some reason.... whether it be sickness or 3am shuffling through the hall due to jet-lag.
My dad: He's one of my few heros. Among other things, he's taught me a lot about how to deal with difficult people... and how to do it without cussing. I'm still a work in progress on that one when typing, but hey... cut me some slack... I'm married to a man in the Army. They can cuss a lot.
My mother: Taught me many wonderful things... and left the challenge of overcoming a little dysfunction. But, I'm sure she did it just to build character.
My sister: She inadvertently taught me how to sneak out as a teenager.... lol. Yep, all that was her fault. Absolutely no responsibility on my part. Oh, she also taught me how to put on make-up. Some might recall the lipstick lesson I wrote about that took place on our drive back from Florida. I don't use that much lipstick anymore, though. I think red is great in moderation, and limited only to the lips, as opposed to smearing it all over your face. Seriously, as an adult though, she's someone I admire for all her accomplishments, and the fact that she still has a wild side. Never boring, that one, that's for sure.
My brother has taught me that things can change. We used to fight when I was about 5 and he was 14. He was such a meanie then. But now I know I could turn to him for absolutely anything. He also taught me the importance of managing money. Oh, and not to pull someone's finger just because they tell you to.
Dottie has taught me what good manners really mean. She seems to handle any situation with such grace. Sometimes when someone is getting on my very last nerve, I just think "What would Dottie do?" I usually end up smiling at the person and saying "Well, bless your heart!" But that doesn't mean that if I ever say that to you that you're getting on my nerves. Honestly. And when I'm really excited, I find myself saying "I'm just so excited I could shit!", just as I've heard her say. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Kim has taught me the meaning of loyalty, and that there really are friends you can trust your whole life.
Kimberly has taught me the value of getting a tattoo. She also taught me that even through challenges and heartbreak, the world can be a very sweet place.
Heather has taught me that it's still possible for me to make new friends.... and the value of keeping up that friendship even across the miles. Also, that a really fabulous pair of heels are important to completing any outfit worth going to dinner in.
Judi has taught me that friends are not always the same age, or even generation, and that how many times you physically see them does not equate to how important they are in your life.
LeAna: I've learned what it really means to keep things in perspective. When I was feeling sorry for myself because my surgery didn't go exactly as planned, I humbly realized that I should be thankful that my reconstruction was not due to cancer. I also learned that neighbors can come to feel like family.
Like I wrote before, there is no order in this list. Each person holds such a wonderful place in my life, and I consider myself priviledged to be a part of theirs. Which makes me think of my grandmother and granddaddy. They influenced my life so strongly and positively. Throughout all my wonderful, cherished memories of them, I would have to say they taught me.... how to miss someone with all your heart, and the importance of appreciating the ones you love while they're still here.
Today I sent my husband a list of things I'm thankful for. They pertained directly to him, but it makes me think of other people I'm thankful for. These people have taught me many important things throughout my life:
My husband: Taught me patience. There's no sarcasm to follow this as some women might do. I have learned a different way of communicating with him. He doesn't think his communication skills are that great, but I beg to differ. With him, I've learned that if I wait a few seconds for an answer, he'll always follow through with a well thought out response. It sure does beat a knee-jerk retort when I might innocently be pushing his buttons... not that I would ever do that **wink, wink**.
My daughter: yet again, I must say patience. That, and the strength to keep my eyes open when I'm beyond exhausted but she's awake for some reason.... whether it be sickness or 3am shuffling through the hall due to jet-lag.
My dad: He's one of my few heros. Among other things, he's taught me a lot about how to deal with difficult people... and how to do it without cussing. I'm still a work in progress on that one when typing, but hey... cut me some slack... I'm married to a man in the Army. They can cuss a lot.
My mother: Taught me many wonderful things... and left the challenge of overcoming a little dysfunction. But, I'm sure she did it just to build character.
My sister: She inadvertently taught me how to sneak out as a teenager.... lol. Yep, all that was her fault. Absolutely no responsibility on my part. Oh, she also taught me how to put on make-up. Some might recall the lipstick lesson I wrote about that took place on our drive back from Florida. I don't use that much lipstick anymore, though. I think red is great in moderation, and limited only to the lips, as opposed to smearing it all over your face. Seriously, as an adult though, she's someone I admire for all her accomplishments, and the fact that she still has a wild side. Never boring, that one, that's for sure.
My brother has taught me that things can change. We used to fight when I was about 5 and he was 14. He was such a meanie then. But now I know I could turn to him for absolutely anything. He also taught me the importance of managing money. Oh, and not to pull someone's finger just because they tell you to.
Dottie has taught me what good manners really mean. She seems to handle any situation with such grace. Sometimes when someone is getting on my very last nerve, I just think "What would Dottie do?" I usually end up smiling at the person and saying "Well, bless your heart!" But that doesn't mean that if I ever say that to you that you're getting on my nerves. Honestly. And when I'm really excited, I find myself saying "I'm just so excited I could shit!", just as I've heard her say. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Kim has taught me the meaning of loyalty, and that there really are friends you can trust your whole life.
Kimberly has taught me the value of getting a tattoo. She also taught me that even through challenges and heartbreak, the world can be a very sweet place.
Heather has taught me that it's still possible for me to make new friends.... and the value of keeping up that friendship even across the miles. Also, that a really fabulous pair of heels are important to completing any outfit worth going to dinner in.
Judi has taught me that friends are not always the same age, or even generation, and that how many times you physically see them does not equate to how important they are in your life.
LeAna: I've learned what it really means to keep things in perspective. When I was feeling sorry for myself because my surgery didn't go exactly as planned, I humbly realized that I should be thankful that my reconstruction was not due to cancer. I also learned that neighbors can come to feel like family.
Like I wrote before, there is no order in this list. Each person holds such a wonderful place in my life, and I consider myself priviledged to be a part of theirs. Which makes me think of my grandmother and granddaddy. They influenced my life so strongly and positively. Throughout all my wonderful, cherished memories of them, I would have to say they taught me.... how to miss someone with all your heart, and the importance of appreciating the ones you love while they're still here.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Cool breezes and costumes
I am just loving the beautiful weather right now. I'm getting every penny's worth out of my screen doors, too. The only time in the last week and a half that I've had to turn on the air was at night. That's only because our house gets hotter as the afternoon wears on and Alyssa's room gets the hottest. I'm just not going to risk losing my quiet time because she can't sleep in a hot room. :)~
It's back to boring for a bit, at least for a few more days. My best friend is coming with her two daughter's to visit next week. Then we have Halloween. Alyssa's going to be Superwoman... again. She really doesn't care yet about the costume, or even the candy, so my thought is why spend another $30 on a costume? We just went through quite a bit of money in South Korea too, so it's time to buckle back down. I'll be more than happy to buy her a different costume next year. By then I'm sure she'll be telling me exactly what she wants to be. This year I'm dressing up as an aging 37 year old woman. I've nailed it, too! My costume has several scars, a couple of wrinkles and age spots, not to mention the free Louis Vuitton luggage that came attached right underneath the eye part of the mask! The really cool part about it is that as soon as I put the costume on several aches and pains show up. Hehehe...
It's back to boring for a bit, at least for a few more days. My best friend is coming with her two daughter's to visit next week. Then we have Halloween. Alyssa's going to be Superwoman... again. She really doesn't care yet about the costume, or even the candy, so my thought is why spend another $30 on a costume? We just went through quite a bit of money in South Korea too, so it's time to buckle back down. I'll be more than happy to buy her a different costume next year. By then I'm sure she'll be telling me exactly what she wants to be. This year I'm dressing up as an aging 37 year old woman. I've nailed it, too! My costume has several scars, a couple of wrinkles and age spots, not to mention the free Louis Vuitton luggage that came attached right underneath the eye part of the mask! The really cool part about it is that as soon as I put the costume on several aches and pains show up. Hehehe...
Monday, October 10, 2011
I need a nap and some hangers.
We've been home a week already. That's one more week closer to my husband getting home! Bruce and I looked online for houses to rent in Hawaii while we were Skyping this morning. We found some nice ones, but I know that anything we really like right now probably won't be available in two months. Who knows? At least we're getting an idea of what we can get for our money.
My daughter has grown up so much in the last month. I find it amazing to watch all these changes. She's now in the toddler bed, she's speaking in complete sentences... sometimes, AND she's developing quite the demanding personality. I used to be able to put anything on TV for her, but now she knows she has options. Just today she's started going over to our movie collection and telling me what she wants to watch. This was cute til she started changing her mind every 10 minutes. She's still not over the jet-lag either! Every afternoon I go to get her up from her nap, and she's sooo tired and grumpy. This is even after sleeping two and half hours. She's still waking up around 4 in the morning, too. Ugh. I am so tired in the mornings, yet she's bright-eyed and bushy-tailed yelling "GOOD MORNING!"
I'm still working on the laundry. I managed to vaccum the downstairs yesterday. Maybe by the end of the week I'll have my house back in order. Lol.. right now my bedroom is a mess. My luggage is still on the floor with clothes in it. A couple of times I had the best intentions to get it all put away and I started by putting it all on the bed, but then got sidetracked until bedtime so I just threw it all back in the suitcase. I need hangers anyway, so why bother til I've got 'em?
My best friend is coming for a visit next week with her two daughters. Getting to hang out with her for several days is such a treat. We'll watch movies when the girls go to bed, take the girls to the park, and try some new wines.
My daughter has grown up so much in the last month. I find it amazing to watch all these changes. She's now in the toddler bed, she's speaking in complete sentences... sometimes, AND she's developing quite the demanding personality. I used to be able to put anything on TV for her, but now she knows she has options. Just today she's started going over to our movie collection and telling me what she wants to watch. This was cute til she started changing her mind every 10 minutes. She's still not over the jet-lag either! Every afternoon I go to get her up from her nap, and she's sooo tired and grumpy. This is even after sleeping two and half hours. She's still waking up around 4 in the morning, too. Ugh. I am so tired in the mornings, yet she's bright-eyed and bushy-tailed yelling "GOOD MORNING!"
I'm still working on the laundry. I managed to vaccum the downstairs yesterday. Maybe by the end of the week I'll have my house back in order. Lol.. right now my bedroom is a mess. My luggage is still on the floor with clothes in it. A couple of times I had the best intentions to get it all put away and I started by putting it all on the bed, but then got sidetracked until bedtime so I just threw it all back in the suitcase. I need hangers anyway, so why bother til I've got 'em?
My best friend is coming for a visit next week with her two daughters. Getting to hang out with her for several days is such a treat. We'll watch movies when the girls go to bed, take the girls to the park, and try some new wines.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
So much done, and yet so much left to do!
We are home. It was such a wonderful time with my husband, but part of me is glad to be home. Bittersweet it the only word to describe it. The flight back was almost three hours shorter than going over and my daughter was so well-behaved I couldn't believe it. She hung in there like a champ! Considering it was 24 hours from the time we got up in South Korea until the time we got home she was amazing. My sister's boyfriend picked us up from the airport in Atlanta and chauffeured us home. He's quite the entertainer so it was a laughter-filled ride home, full of jokes and stories. My cat seemed to take a moment to remember who I was when I walked in the door, but then she started her crazy eights around my ankles. The house was just as I'd left it, too. My fabulous friend Michele made sure of that.
I've unpacked 75% of everything, but 25% of it is currently thrown on my bed. I started some laundry earlier today. It's taken a little while to get some motivation since getting home. There's so much to do after being gone for more than a month: laundry, vacuuming, dusting and changing the sheets on the beds, Dr's appointments, errands and paying bills. I did restock the fridge this week, which reminds me... I had a gallon and a half of milk left in the fridge when we left. You just can't imagine how fun that was to open both of those containers to pour them down the sink. Oh, it was bad. Real bad. I now know how kim chi and sauerkraut were invented, too. People went off to hunt or visit and left the cabbage or lettuce around. When they got home they had nothing to eat. Seeing the red and fermented cabbage they were so hungry they probably said "Let's just throw some vinegar/hot sauce on that stuff and try it." At least that's my theory after seeing the lettuce in my crisper when we got home.
We've had a very busy week with several doctors appointments. I thought we were going to have our overseas screenings, but that ended up being delayed. I DID see my doctor about the pain I'm still having on my rib cage. I was also concerned with how my breasts look now that everything has settled down after the two surgeries. It's not horrible, but it's not right. My doctor seemed very attentive to my concern, and gave me three options. I've decided to go with the least traumatic option, which will mean I'll still have to go under sedation again, but it's the least invasive. One positive thing is that he'll have to take a little bit of fat off my waist area to make this tweak. Yeah, I like that idea... just as long as I don't end up lumpy like Tara Reid. **rolling eyes** This whole thing has been hard, and I feel like I'm taking a roll of the dice to give him one more chance to fix it. Oh, and I had to have the nerve block on Friday. It may have helped. I don't know for sure yet because I saw this AWFUL woman about my leg on Thursday, and she gave me crutches which ended up making me hurt more than before. (I'll whine about that later, but I'm getting to the point that I can understand why so many people complain about the nurses and doctors on base. She was not a good nurse or doctor, or whatever she was... I don't even know which, to be honest with you.)
Alyssa is just now getting over the jet-lag. She was really suffering, which meant I was awake much earlier than I wanted to be the whole week. She's now sleeping in her toddler bed and several mornings this week I heard shuffling in the hallway before 4am. I'd get up and put her back in bed, but then I couldn't get back to sleep. It's all working out now though, thank goodness.
It's only a few more weeks now! There's so much to do to get ready for Hawaii that I'm sure it's going to go by quickly. Ahhhh... I am sooo glad this year is almost over. I can't wait to have my husband home. I've already started a to-do list for him.**wink**
I've got company coming over tonight. Can't wait! They're so much fun and make me laugh to the point that I snort. We're just going to eat some pizza and drink some adult beverages, but I can guarantee you it will be good times.
I've unpacked 75% of everything, but 25% of it is currently thrown on my bed. I started some laundry earlier today. It's taken a little while to get some motivation since getting home. There's so much to do after being gone for more than a month: laundry, vacuuming, dusting and changing the sheets on the beds, Dr's appointments, errands and paying bills. I did restock the fridge this week, which reminds me... I had a gallon and a half of milk left in the fridge when we left. You just can't imagine how fun that was to open both of those containers to pour them down the sink. Oh, it was bad. Real bad. I now know how kim chi and sauerkraut were invented, too. People went off to hunt or visit and left the cabbage or lettuce around. When they got home they had nothing to eat. Seeing the red and fermented cabbage they were so hungry they probably said "Let's just throw some vinegar/hot sauce on that stuff and try it." At least that's my theory after seeing the lettuce in my crisper when we got home.
We've had a very busy week with several doctors appointments. I thought we were going to have our overseas screenings, but that ended up being delayed. I DID see my doctor about the pain I'm still having on my rib cage. I was also concerned with how my breasts look now that everything has settled down after the two surgeries. It's not horrible, but it's not right. My doctor seemed very attentive to my concern, and gave me three options. I've decided to go with the least traumatic option, which will mean I'll still have to go under sedation again, but it's the least invasive. One positive thing is that he'll have to take a little bit of fat off my waist area to make this tweak. Yeah, I like that idea... just as long as I don't end up lumpy like Tara Reid. **rolling eyes** This whole thing has been hard, and I feel like I'm taking a roll of the dice to give him one more chance to fix it. Oh, and I had to have the nerve block on Friday. It may have helped. I don't know for sure yet because I saw this AWFUL woman about my leg on Thursday, and she gave me crutches which ended up making me hurt more than before. (I'll whine about that later, but I'm getting to the point that I can understand why so many people complain about the nurses and doctors on base. She was not a good nurse or doctor, or whatever she was... I don't even know which, to be honest with you.)
Alyssa is just now getting over the jet-lag. She was really suffering, which meant I was awake much earlier than I wanted to be the whole week. She's now sleeping in her toddler bed and several mornings this week I heard shuffling in the hallway before 4am. I'd get up and put her back in bed, but then I couldn't get back to sleep. It's all working out now though, thank goodness.
It's only a few more weeks now! There's so much to do to get ready for Hawaii that I'm sure it's going to go by quickly. Ahhhh... I am sooo glad this year is almost over. I can't wait to have my husband home. I've already started a to-do list for him.**wink**
I've got company coming over tonight. Can't wait! They're so much fun and make me laugh to the point that I snort. We're just going to eat some pizza and drink some adult beverages, but I can guarantee you it will be good times.
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