Happy New Year!!!

I have been so busy this week that I haven't had time to write. I have done almost every project on my to do list. Of the few that I have left to accomplish, painting is next. I bought some Kilnz yesterday to primer the baseboards in my bathroom. We had a leak about a year ago, and there are some water stains that I don't think just paint alone will cover. That'll probably take about two hours. Then on to doing the touch up paint throughout the whole house, which is a project that can only be started once Alyssa is in bed.

I mailed two care packages off to Bruce on the 22nd, and just got one of them back. I'm just sick about it. He says the address is correct, so I'm going back to the Post Office to find out the deal. It's about $15 a pop to mail a package, so if it comes back, that's just $15 gone for nothin'. I don't like that one bit.

I'm gettin' my hair did today!!!!  I'm about three weeks overdue according to my roots, and I can not wait!!! Between my new hair soon, and the fact that I've lost almost 15 pounds already, I'm feeling like a new person. My jeans that fit before I had Alyssa fit again. As a matter of fact, they even have some "eatin' room" in them. Oh! I recognize that girl in the mirror! She's been gone a while, but she's back, now. Since I have reached my first weight goal (which I thought would be impossible), I'm completely ready to go on to my next goal of 11 more pounds. That's it! It's my last goal... I'll be 140lbs, 5'8", and a size 4 or 6.

Tonight's New Years! It's the anniversary of the night that Bruce and I met. If there is one day in my life that determined the path that I'm on now, it's that night. Initially, I wasn't even going to go out that night. My buddy, Jesse, had invited me to go out to the Hard Rock Cafe in Baltimore, twice, but I said "No" both times. The third time he asked, he said "I know you... you're not doing anything but sitting around in your apartment. You need to get out and have some fun. Come with us!" So, I caved and showed up at his house around 7. Bruce was there when I got there. We took a limo into Baltimore and I found myself chatting about String Theory and Stephen Hawking with him, drinking the punch...lol, and being the only ones on the dance floor. It will always be a night I remember and laugh about. Fast forward several years, and here we are. Well, technically he's in South Korea and I'm here, but you know what I mean. I wouldn't trade him for the world, either. I can't believe how time has gone by so quickly with him. I guess the old saying of "Time flies when you're having fun" can apply to years, and not just days.

Well, tonight is going to be very low key here. I still have to get up with the two year old in the morning, so the only excitement here will be me watching a Nora Roberts movie on Lifetime that I recorded a few days ago. See you all in 2011! Please be safe, have a designated driver, and remember: there is no shame sleeping on someone's floor if you don't have a ride.

Snow flakes and sneezes

It's snowing here! Not much is sticking, but it's beautiful to watch. Alyssa's getting a kick out of it, too, and keeps saying " No? "... which if you're wearing your decoder ring, that means "snow".

We had a lot of fun yesterday. We skyped with Bruce in the morning while we opened her Christmas gifts. Then we skyped later last night and celebrated her birthday. She loved the pizza for dinner, and the chocolate cake was a big hit.

I'm still sick. When I woke up yesterday, it was bad. Today is not much better, but I'm taking some medicine for it. It doesn't seem to be helping with the constant sneezing, though. When I put Alyssa down for her nap today, I just climbed into bed to sleep. I was able to sleep about an hour, which is better than nothing, but this is one of those times that I really miss having Bruce here. If he were here, he would play with Alyssa and let me rest. Oh well, this cold will pass. I mean really, how long can it stick around??? All I can do is wait til I put her to bed and then draw a really hot bath to soak in. This is a new habit since Bruce has been gone, and I love it. It's sad in a way that it took him going away for me to lose weight and take better care of myself and my skin, but I keep reminding myself just how fabulous I will be the next time he sees me in person! Not to say I lacked fabulousness before, mind you.

No Grinches here.

Two years ago, today, I thought I had gas. Yep... gas. Oh, how my stomach hurt. I was eating antacids, massaging my tummy, and even resorted to rolling my stomach around on the big exercise ball. All to no avail. It was Christmas Eve. Isn't there some unwritten rule that you're not allowed to be sick or feel bad right at Christmas? Well, everything was hurting. My hips, my back, my big extended belly, and if I remember correctly... even my big toe hurt. Turns out, it wasn't gas. After hours of increasing 'gas pains', I realized I was in labor. It took a little convincing for Bruce. He was trying to tell me it was just Braxton Hicks. HA. He came very close to having his eyeball poked out. So, anyway, we made the trip up to the hospital (which is a very funny story within itself, but for another time). When we got there, they laughed and told me I was not ready. They said to "just go home and it might take two more days". TWO MORE DAYS? It was when I heard these words that I changed my mind. I wasn't 'even in da mood' for two days of that. What choice did I have though?

They were sweet enough to give me a morphine shot to dull the pain before they sent me home... which made me horribly sick. We came home, and while I writhed around and moaned in our bed every two to four minutes, Bruce peacefully slept beside me. After about two and half hours, I was yelling from the bathroom (in between uncontrollable moaning ) that I didn't give a damn what that nurse said TAKE ME BACK TO THE HOSPITAL! By the time we got back to the hospital, the nurses seemed to be rather surprised that I had moved along so quickly. Then I met the anesthesiologist. Bless his heart. That man had to leave his family on Christmas morning to come give me an epidural. There will always be a special place in my heart for him. Anyone who can relieve severe pain such as that so quickly deserves that much.

So, the 8.6 pound little girl I had that day will be two tomorrow. As if Christmas isn't wonderful enough, it will now always mean so much more to me. We are celebrating with Bruce, and other family members, via Skype tomorrow. I wish we were all together, but it is what it is. I've got a cute cake, chocolate ice cream, a banner, matching birthday plates and napkins, and lots of presents for both her birthday and Christmas. We are currently watching as many animated Christmas movies as we can cram into today and tomorrow. If you're going to do it, do it right!

I'd like to send birthday wishes to two of my other friends whose birthdays fall so close to Christmas.
Kim: you are the best friend anyone could ever, ever ask for. After almost 22 years of friendship, I have some of the most amazing memories. Thanks! I hope the 28th is a fabulous day for you.
Judi: I hope your birthday yesterday was wonderful. I'm so glad I happened to meet you that day in Indianapolis. You are such an amazing woman and I can't wait until we get together again. Even though we don't talk very frequently, you've had a big impact on my life. Also, thank you for putting Alyssa's name on your birthday cake. You are too sweet.

The wrapping of gifts, and consuming of wine, did not happen last night. I'll be doing that tonight.

OH! and one more awesome thing: I've hit one of my weight goals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On to the last 10 pounds!! Oh yeah, oh yeah, uh huh, uh huh! ..::shaking smaller booty::.. oh yeah, oh yeah, uh huh, uh huh!

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!

No, it's not Elmer Fudd... It's Rudolph.

Ugh. After not 'aving a cold for over 2 and 'alf years, I 'ave one. My eyes/forehead are itchy, my nose is running, and I'd give Rudolph a run for 'is money with my red nose. I'd give my little pinky toe to just go take a nap for a couple of hours. Lol, maybe next year.

Things are going good. I'm excited about Alyssa seeing all her Christmas presents from "Santa", and also her birthday presents. I think she's getting the idea of Santa now. We'll be celebrating Christmas that morning with Bruce via Skype, then we'll celebrate her birthday that night. Even though Alyssa and I will be the only ones eating cake, I went all out for the birthday plates, napkins, and banner. All I have to do now is pick up a birthday cake tomorrow and wrap all the presents (lol... with a glass/bottle of wine). I think it'll be an ice cream cake. The night of wrapping will include the glass/bottle of Merlot.

I love my husband. He is truly the sweetest man. I opened the gift that came last week and was so surprised. Like I wrote before, he said this was not a Christmas gift... it was just late. Turns out it was jewelry. An absolutely gorgeous eternity ring! I luuuuv it and smile every time I look down at it. It seems to wink back at me and say "bling, sparkle, bling". It's fabulous, just like me... and I'm so glad he thought the same thing ..::wink, wink::..

We're going to be watching as many Christmas movies as possible over the next few days, and to hell with what the pediatrician says about only two hours of TV a day! It's almost Christmas! Oh, the fun of a full day of "A Christmas Story."

I hope all of you and yours have a wonderful and warm Christmas! May you enjoy the day with all it's quirks and craziness. ;)

Tuesday is such a random day.

Have you ever given it any thought? Everyone loves each day of the weekend. Mondays are looked upon with dread. Even Wednesday is acknowledged as it's own day with the term "hump day". But Tuesday? It's just so random. At least Thursday is 'the day before Friday' and everyone feels good when it's Thursday... only Tuesday gets jipped of personality. It's just "Tuesday". Oh well. It's only that with all the discussion on the DADT repeal, I feel as if all the injustices in the world are rising to the surface. It's always either the homosexuals, heterosexuals, or Tuesday being oppressed.

I've been working on two care packages for Bruce. I'll be sending them out tomorrow morning once I have his complete address. Lol... it's been a challenge just getting bits of it at a time. I decorated the inside of the boxes just for the fun of it. There's a cartoon collage on one of them, with lots of pop art, and then Christmas clippings on the other. There were some cool black and white, random Xmas photos on that one. Neither will make it there before Christmas, but I still wanted to send one box that was related to the holidays.

Alyssa and I both woke up with something this morning. My ears and throat are bothering me, and she's coughing and sneezing. I hope it just goes away, and doesn't develop into anything more for either one of us. I think a big dose of Vitamin C is in my near future. How do I know this? Because I'm not just Claire.... I'm clairvoyant! Lol... oh, yeah, I went there.

I'm running out of projects to work on, and I'm about to have to resort to some heavy duty cleaning to keep myself busy. I guess I'll start with the floors. Ho hum. Maybe the garage will keep me busy for a couple of weeks. I've got several things I need to list on Craig's List, one of which is the Jeep Wrangler. If I sell it, then we'll be down to only one Jeep. It just doesn't seem right to me. But, Bruce has already started thinking about the new Jeep we'll buy after SK. If any of you haven't seen the new Jeep... it's something else. Truly a work of art and craftsmanship. I honestly get misty-eyed, and feel very patriotic, when I see the new commercial.

I'm off now. Someone is insisting that I sit on the couch and help her color. Life is hard... especially when you have to keep all the colors inside the lines.

Drool and Jewels

I've been all about babies and toddlers the past two days. As much fun as I've had, I can honestly say those little niggling feelings of "should I have another baby?" are gone. So, Bruce, if you're reading this... you're safe from my analytical what-if questions for at least another year. (He's on the other side of the world laughing and thinking "Yea? And how, exactly, were you planning on having one of those without me, anyway?")

Right now, Alyssa and her little buddy Nora are watching Toy Story. They are being perfect little angels. Just both sitting quietly on the couch, laughing together. Although, whenever they laugh I feel like I missed the joke. Oh well, I guess you have to be "Almost Two" to be in their click. I watched Lil' Evie yesterday and today. Talk about cute... oh wow, she's a charmer. She smiles twice as much as she drools, which is alot on both counts ;)

Eleven days down, and I'm am happy that it's gone by quickly. I have a box in my kitchen that is waiting to be opened. Even though Bruce and I had decided we weren't going to exchange Christmas presents, I received a gift at my front door today. He's says it's not for Christmas, it's just LATE. He also said I cannot open it until we Skype. It's killin' me!!!! I'm not going to look in the box... but I can tell it's jewelry. Oh, how I love things that sparkle.

Change and children... lots of each.

I have finally seen the upside to my husband being overseas..... I'm not hungry. Don't want the chocolate; don't want the second glass of wine; heck, I've been so busy that I've missed my own dinner three times in the last week. Finally, I see the pounds coming off. Today I hit a personal milestone and had a bonding moment with my scale, in which I thought for a moment that we might just become friends. It seems as if all my clothes BC (before child) are calling to me from the dark recesses of my closet. I want to whisper to them "Don't worry, my long missed, wonderful clothes... we'll be seeing each other soon."

Bruce and I Skyped this morning. It helps me soooo much to see and talk to him on the computer. When we get finished, I always feel as if I can get through the day. There's a big difference between talking to someone on the phone, which we've done on previous separations, versus actually seeing them on the screen. The visual definitely helps fill the void. I was up at the ungodly hour of 5am to take a shower, so that I'd look beautimous when we chatted. It's going to be a big day today for us. I'm watching my friend's eight month old daughter today and tomorrow. Erin, the mom, is hilarious. She came over yesterday evening to drop off a "couple" of things for Evie. LOL... a "couple" of things which will help keep her cutie entertained and fed for several hours, but I'm thinking it's more like a month's worth. Although, I'm laughing about it now... I can just imagine that around two today, I'll be thinking there's nothing for her to play with ;)~ Poor thing is teething, too. Wish me luck!

I finally closed on our house yesterday. As much as I love, and rave, about USAA, this turned out the be a not-so-pleasant experience. But, at least it's done. Done. Done. Done.

I finished all my Christmas cards, but won't be able to get them in the mail til Saturday, probably. I've got to buy some stamps, which means going to the Post Office, and with all the babysitting I'm doing over today and tomorrow, it's going to be Saturday when I get out. Oh, I'm also babysitting for another girlfriend tomorrow night. She was so sweet to watch Alyssa a few times before Bruce left. Now it's my turn to return the favor. I can imagine that the next few days of 'toddler galore' will put to rest any romanticized feelings I may have recently had about having another baby.

Oddly enough, I have noticed some changes in my routine that I didn't expect. I have taken to watching TV in my bedroom, which is something I never did while Bruce was here. I think it makes me feel closer to him to be in 'our' room. I switched around a bunch of pictures upstairs, and moved a couple of other things around. It amazed me at how much cozier everything is upstairs now. Just a better flow all the way around.
Another change has been the computer. I used to get on first thing in the morning while Alyssa was watching Sesame Street and drinking her milk, but now I have no desire to get on unless I'm Skyping with Bruce. Alyssa's been watching less TV, too. We've been working on different projects, so I just turn on some music for her or get her crayons and coloring book out.

So, in one of my previous posts I made a reference to "Eddie's Auto" which was some radio guy who used to call people and get them worked up over the phone... to the point of deciding on a meeting place to fight. Well, while I was watching trash TV in my bedroom the other night, I saw a showed called "Phowned" which was hilarious... it reminded me of Eddie's Auto. Get some poor unsuspecting sap and call them with something upsetting. The great thing about the show is that you see their reactions, because their friends or family are in on the whole thing, and they've set up hidden cameras. The one I saw was where this teenager gets a call that the limo reserved for her prom is unavailable.... I swear you'd have thought this girl had just received news that all her hair was going to fall out.

My weekend on steriods (The weekend, not me)

Let's see... where did I leave off? Oh, I remember now... I was having a moment of positivity. Yeah, well, that passed. If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, then I'm on steroids. Friday started out good, but took a turn for the worse in the afternoon. That morning, my friend came over for coffee and our daughters played. That afternoon was supposed to be the closing on our house. We decided to refinance (back in September) since the rate was so good. Everything was done on our part for a while. But USAA seemed to suffering from mini failures in getting their stuff done. They ran me up the wall on Friday. Kept changing the times, kept changing the info... and my most favorite part... they assigned an attorney who was a "Class A" BITCH. This twit thought it was acceptable to begin yelling at me on the phone. She was supposed to be at my home at 4:30.... (this is the short version of the story), rescheduled, then called to tell me she might be here by 8pm. Might. 8PM. I dont' mind accommodating someone else's schedule, but I do mind someone taking an unprofessional attitude with me. OMG... I'm still mad about it, too! I was Skyping with Bruce when she called, so he heard everything on my end of the conversation. I was cool. She was not. I'm just not in the mood to go into it though. I'll just leave it at this: The closing didn't happen.

Friday night was fun, though. My friend across the street came over for a glass of wine, and then my friend from Atlanta arrived. More wine was poured. And then some more. We laughed, all talked simultaneously, drank some more, and repeated it all over. At some point, honey whiskey was poured. Thank god I only sipped it. I finally called it a night at 2am because I was going to Skype with Bruce at 6am. I didn't feel so cute when the alarm went off, but I was happy to be able to chat with him. Alyssa and I had a lazy afternoon together, but then she started grunting in a weird way. I'm so tired, I'm not going into the whole thing, but long story short, I decided to take her to the ER to have it checked. First time in ER with her. She's never sick. It all went OK, and I'm still glad I took her in. I didn't want to wait until Monday to have her checked. Well, we got home from the ER and I finally got her into bed at 10:30. Then, as exhausted as I was, I could NOT fall asleep. I heard every little noise in the house. So, I ended up cleaning half my bathroom and trying to read a book that I couldn't concentrate on. I'll be taking a nap today, no doubt. That's it.... that's all she wrote... then she scribbled.

Louis was right: What a wonderful world it is.

Although I am missing my husband with more intensity than I thought possible, there is a battle within me going on between sadness and happiness... all because I have such a wonderful family and terrific friends. For without them, I would be moping around, possibly swimming in sadness and tears. That's not the case, though. For starters, my friend across the street (Heather), had Alyssa and I over for dinner on Tuesday. I now consider Carbonara to be comfort food. Toss in some salad, and some oven-roasted garlic and olive oil for the bread; Mmmm mmmm, food so good it'd make yo tongue jump up and smack the roof of yo mouth! The dinner was enjoyed with a glass of wine, too. Nothing like good friends, good food, and good wine. Then my Superman called me at 7am today. I couldn't think of a better way to start my day. Even though I know our cell phone bill will be through the ROOF, I don't care.... I simply don't care. It's worth it! Later in the morning, Alyssa and I ran some errands just to get out of the house. When we got home I went to go check the mail, only to find a package at my front door. This is what was in the package....

The most exquisite purple orchids from my lovely sister in TN. How sweet was that? Nobody has ever given me orchids, either, so they're even more special. Follow that up with a phone call from another friend (Erin), who so eloquently expressed how she's there for me if I ever need her. Top it off with another girlfriend (Kimberly) sending me an email letting me know she was thinking of me. Instead of writing back, I called her. She is utterly fabulous, too. I've thought so since college, when we met. This is the gal that I went and got my first tattoo with. Well, that phone call turned out to include making plans for her coming in from Atlanta tomorrow night! Yippee! I am really sooo excited. We'll be eating chicken salad and sharing a bottle of wine, then we're going to do her hair (this is becoming a tradition for us). The icing on the cake is that I'll be able to Skype with Bruce at 6 in the morning. :::Heart swells:::

So, all in all... I'm doing OK. I did find myself reading old poetry online today while Alyssa was napping, which is uncharacteristically romantic for me, but in my defense, it could be considered educational. One thing I realized, that I never did before, is that Elizabeth Barrett Browning was a truly gifted poet. I guess you just absorb and take what you need, depending on what stage in life you are. I, also, read some Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, of whom my Grandfather was a fan. I now understand why. I think I'll close this posting with something from Ms. Browning: Sonnets from the Portuguese: XIV

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only.  Do not say
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—
For these things in themselves, Belovëd, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so.  Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity.

Not gone... just not here.

I just put Alyssa down to sleep. I don't know whether it's better to have some time to myself or not. Today went well. We played together, colored together, and she constantly carried around the Elmo book with her daddy's voice-recorded story. I guess it was at about 5 o'clock that I took the book away from her to tape a piece of cardboard over the buttons. She'd been constantly pushing the buttons, and I was scared it would jack up the recording. When I did this, she started crying immediately. I tried to reassure her that I would give it back just as soon as I was finished, but the crying didn't stop. It didn't stop two minutes later when I gave the book back, either. At that point, she didn't even want the book and kept pushing it away. Then she walked into the kitchen, sat down in the corner and continued to cry. I tried to console her, but she didn't want me to touch her. She just kept pushing me away. So, I decided to give her a few minutes to get it all out, and when I came back she just put her arms up in the air for me to pick her up. I did, but she still didn't stop crying. Then she started saying "Deedee". Whew... it tore my heart out. I couldn't even talk for a minute for fear that I would start crying. I just rubbed her back and hugged her. It's one thing to feel like I have it all under control myself, but it's another to watch tears fall out of my daughter's eyes, knowing she doesn't understand where Daddy is. I felt as if I were doing really well up until this point. I guess I took it for granted that she, being 23 months, wouldn't really pick up on him being gone, and that she'd just adjust. Wrong. She knows, and she's sad.

This is really the first time that I've had to deal with my daughter being truly sad. She is such a happy little girl, and rarely cries. Even if she falls down, as long as I ask "Are you OK?", she'll say "yeah", smile and keep on going. I could tell from her cry today that her little heart was breaking. I swear, I would give anything to take that sadness from her. I can deal with anything, or just about anything, but seeing her cry those little pitiful sobs, and knowing I couldn't do anything really tore me up. I did all I could do. I held her, rubbed her back, kissed her cheek, and talked to her soothingly. Once the crying eased up, we tossed a ball around and played with an etch-a-sketch together. She ate dinner right after this, and seemed to be feeling better, but when we went to do our bedtime routine, I could tell she was thinking of her daddy. He's used to be the one to give her a bath, brush her teeth, and read her a bedtime story. That was their together time. I'm trying to fill those shoes, but I know I can't replace him. I really hope that once we start Skyping she will realize he's not "gone", he's just can't be here.

Slow day

Stick a fork in me, I'm done. I had about 3.5 hours of sleep last night, and it's caught up with me. I did get to talk to Bruce late last night, though, which was nice. Although, I know how the separations are from previous experience, it is always an adjustment. No matter how 'used' to it I get, I still just miss the man.

Alyssa and I had a pretty good day. We watched a Christmas movie together and ran a couple of errands. One of my girlfriends had us over for dinner tonight, and it was delicious! I rented "Sex in the City 2" to watch, but I think I'll watch it when little miss goes down for her nap tomorrow.

Sounds like my little girl is still awake for some odd reason. I'm off to check on her.

Irony

The irony of my situation is "time": In one aspect, I just need a little bit; In another, it's something I have entirely too much of.

Yesterday was really hard for me... today, even harder. My eyes are swollen, but I have come to find out that with enough eyeliner and concealer, you can hide almost anything. I may possibly be channeling Tammy Faye Baker at this point. Get worried if I call you asking for money, with a by-line of "let me help you, help yourself".

But anyway, I know women who cry at least twice a week. Whether they do it alone or not, they admit to it. One of my friends told me she simply finds it cathartic, whether something is bothering her or not. I can't relate to this. Although, in retrospect, I have had times in my life that were bad enough that I may have cried more often... but, that's not the life I am living now, so I rarely cry. The only times I have really cried in the last four+ years, I can count on one hand.

1. While pregnant and traveling, I cried one night/morning because I was so sleep deprived from staying awake wondering if i was going to be a good mother. I reached a 'crazy point' where I convinced myself I wasn't. Poor Bruce, he woke up and had to talk me back from the ledge (figuratively speaking, that is).
2. While pregnant, I asked Bruce what he thought of my outfit, to which he responded "I don't really like the shirt with those shorts". That sent me into the closet in tears. Go figure.
3. The moment I saw my daughter for the first time, I cried big, fat tears of joy. Man, she was sooo cute.
(See a trend here?... hormones during pregnancy, and considering it only happened three times, I'd say that doesn't qualify me as a cry baby.)
4. In September, when my grandmother passed. Self-explanatory, I would think.

So, all in all, I guess I'm either tough, happy, or hide my emotions well. Or maybe, all of the above. The past three days, though... well, let's just say I need more eyeliner.

Yesterday, I had just finished getting pretty and came downstairs to see what Bruce was doing. Since Alyssa was napping, he'd decided to record the story books I'd bought for her. I walked into the room, realized what he was doing, and thought "Oh, hell no! I can't stay in here for this!" Fighting the sudden knot in my throat, I barely made it outside with the phone to call one of my best friends. I thought listening to someone else talk would be a wonderful distraction and might even help keep my eyeliner on the upper half of my face. Well... she wasn't home. Called Mom and she wasn't home. Called another friend... you guessed it, she wasn't home either! The third time I got a voice recording I was angrily, and selfishly, thinking "What the hell PEOPLE!?!? It's not like any of you WORK!". Shows how well my brain was working. Just as I was leaving my third message, I realized it was Sunday. Oops.


So, on to today... thank god it's almost over. Goodbye is THE hardest part for me. This is not the first goodbye my husband and I have shared. We've been separated several times before. Sometimes for months at a time, but it doesn't get easier. This one was by far the hardest. It was the saddest for me. Maybe because of the potential length of time, or maybe because I'm scared of being left alone with this toddler... I don't know. I did great up until we walked him to the security checkpoint. But, then he just had to look at me with those wonderful sweet eyes and say "I love you sweetheart" and then wrap his arms around me. I don't remember much else he said right after that 'cause all I could think was "I'm literally going to sob! Can't sob, can't sob, can't sob."  I grabbed a tissue, dabbed my eyes, told him how much I loved him, and wished him safe flights.

He's such a wonderful man. As soon as he reached his first layover, he called and asked if we wanted to Skype after he got something to eat. So, we did. It was fun, and I'm happy to write that I managed to get through the whole thing without a single tear. See? I'm already back to being tough. I just had to rub some dirt in it.

9mm's and Boutique jeans

I've had a hiatus from blogging, but I'm back. The past few days have been pretty busy for us. My dad came in for a brief visit, which was wonderful. He completely spoiled my daughter and me. Took us all out to eat twice, and he was only here 24 hours. Then he took my daughter shopping and bought her all kinds of cute clothes. She's so stinkin' cute in a pair of jeans, too. Oh, and my dad also brought his tools and helped my husband put a peep-hole in the front door. That is one cool man.

I picked my gun up from the dealer on Friday. It's puuuuurty. My husband and I had a wonderful date night on Saturday, too. We went to the firing range and then out to dinner. I miss getting alone time with him, and it's ironic how many people have offered to babysit now that he's leaving. The great thing about it is that I think he and I will be able to enjoy one more date night before he leaves. I wasn't planning on that, so it's a bonus in my book!

I went shopping on Saturday, too. Went by Sephora and bought myself some really nice moisturizer and foundation. I have convinced myself that this is not a splurge at my age... more like an investment. The big bottle of Coco I bought was a splurge, though. The last bottle lasted me almost two years, so all things considered, I'm still not high maintenance. But!... then I went to Buckle and bought some utterly fabulous, expensive jeans. This is soooo out of character for me. I am the woman who clips coupons, only buy things on sale, and never worries about my wardrobe anymore. I am not the woman who goes shopping on the weekend just to pick up the newest pair of shoes that are in-style. I couldn't help it, though. There I was in the changing room... changing from a pair of loose, unsexy jeans that I thought were OK.... to putting on a pair of designer boutique jeans. I pulled them on (or rather hopped up and down until I got them where they were supposed to be, which the salesgirl assured me this is the ONLY way to wear these jeans), I turn around to look in the mirror and what do I see? ..::rolling eyes::... OMG, the mirror reflected a pair of legs and butt that looked like they belonged to a twenty year old. The people who designed these jeans are brilliant. Brilliant enough for me to slap down my bank card and not feel an ounce of guilt for spending near $100. It's amazing what a good pair of jeans can do to ward off that I'm-nothing-but-a-mom feeling". With these jeans on, I am nothing short of fabulous. That's money well-spent in my book!

Snippets...

Short post today...

Alyssa had playtime this morning, and seems to be getting the hang of 'sharing'. Bless her heart...

Running errands this afternoon. Recycling, drop off box at Fed Ex, and a couple of other little stops.

Farewell lunch tomorrow on base.

Dad coming for a visit tomorrow. YAY! He's bringing the 'right' tools to help us put the peep-hole in the front door.

I received my gun permit in the mail yesterday, then ordered a nice, stainless steel 9mm last night. It'll be here by Monday or Tuesday. Reminds me... must sign up for gun safety course; It never hurts to hear what a professional has to say.

Got to go... going to watch the movie The Extra Man while Alyssa naps. ;)

Fire and Rain

First.... Fire. We have some little hoodlums running around in our neighborhood. Last night they set fire to the lamppost and bushes at the end of our street. We had a friend from out of state stopping by for a very quick visit and as I was giving him turn-by-turn directions, I had walked outside to greet him as he would be pulling up momentarily. Instead of saying "Turn left on such and such street", I said "You see the flames shooting into the sky? Turn left by the burning bush, and pray you get outta here alive". The fire department showed up shortly thereafter, but by that point the metal pole had gotten so hot that it barely missed one of the firemen when it melted in the middle and fell over. Crazy, I tell you. According to one of my neighbors, these kids were rounded up and arrested. I wonder what those parents are going to do? Considering the behavior I've seen even before this, I can't imagine much. My neighbor also said that earlier in the afternoon two of the girls in this group of punks were yelling at a man in his seventies down the street. Seriously? I just don't get it. I was never a timid teenager, but I never, ever could have imagined yelling profanities at an old man. May those girls come down with severe cases of acne and may their hair fall out the next time they bleach it! It will serve them right.


Second... Rain. It's raining here right now. Dreary, drizzly rain. Today is also the day that Bruce's stuff is being picked up to be shipped overseas. I think I may just drive on over to South Carolina, to my favorite ALDI, and pretend it's not happening. Denial does have it's place in a sane woman's life..... at least today it will.

Things I don't miss about being really young...

Catty, clique-y women. Y'know... the ones who thought they were sooo popular and made it a point to give new meaning to the word snotty? As a matter of fact, I hadn't thought about it in years, but was just reminded of it recently. I definitely don't miss this from my teenage and college years. Not that it was terribly prevalent at the high school from which I graduated, but nevertheless, I saw it a bit elsewhere. I have learned that karma (and time) can be just as catty in return, though. Especially, when you run into one of those girls, who is now a grown woman, and she looks like someone pulled the rip-cord on a self-inflating raft. Now that, my friends, is a touching moment, but not the real point of this post.

Lucky enough for me, I was never at the receiving end of this cattiness. Well, maybe once or twice, but what I quickly found out was that when you simply look 'em in the eye and challenge them... oh, they just back right on down. It worked for me, at least. Maybe they just saw a glimmer of the crazy that I was capable of, who knows?

Another thing I'm not too fond of is a bully. It's a really unattractive quality in a grown woman and one that I will address... as long as she doesn't look like she's on steroids. Lol, just because I may try to stand for what's right, the point in that is to 'still be standing' after making said point. But, anyway, what gets me is how technology these days seems to make some people feel as if they are entitled to be catty, rude, and a bully. Hiding behind some dorky screen name, they think they can avoid responsibility for their asinine attacks. You can't reason with these people, either. Try to engage them in an open, respectful debate about the topic at hand, and I swear it's as if suddenly they've had a frontal lobotomy. They can't address an issue posed intelligently or stay in line with the debate. They switch up the facts... slinging verbal crap like it's going out of style. Makes me feel like ole' Eddie, from Eddie's Auto....y'know those old clips of the radio station guy calling people to get them so riled up that they'd want to meet and fight?... But, I have to remind myself that they haven't reached a level of intelligence, security, happiness, or empathy for other people in general yet. Sadly, some people never attain these qualities. Did you know the frontal lobe of the brain does not reach full development until around 25? Interesting, huh? This is the part we use for reasoning, too. Get where I'm going here? For some people, as I have witnessed lately, age really is just a number and not proof of intelligence or maturity. Even though part of me feels sorry for them, part of me feels like saying "Well, yeah? HUH! Then just meet me down at the McDonald's and we'll settle it there!"

But, like Al Franken in the old SNL episodes (remember self help guru Stuart Smalley?) I just have to repeat to myself in the mirror "I'm pretty, I'm smart, and gosh-darn it!... People like me!" They'll have their day of karma. (Those of you who know me, thank god, will find this funny).
Catch me at the McDonald's by mistake, though, and I recognize your fat ass from that website.... you're going to see just how redneck I can be. All grooming, education, and manners my momma taught me are going out the window. That's when I'll briefly look in my rear view mirror (right before I hop out) thinking "Pretty? Smart? People like me? Aw, hell... who am I kidding?... I'm gonna kick your fat ass!"

Then I'll go home, do a little Yoga and drink a glass of wine. Moving on....

Crusty neighbors and dueling banjos...

Yeah!!! The crusty neighbors are gone! It's amazing what a little voodoo doll can do! Just kidding, but I was beginning to contemplate the idea of alternative methods in getting them out of here. When I saw them moving out, I honestly started dancing a jig in my guest bedroom. My daughter had no clue as to why I was so happy all of the sudden, but the great thing about toddlers is that they really don't care... they just jump right in. So, there we were dancing and laughing when I realized my windows were open and they were still loading up. Oh well, no crime in gettin' jiggy with it in your own home, and they probably had no idea anyway.

Which reminds me... where is that gun permit? Bruce has already found a nice 9mm for me, but we don't want to order it until we 'know' the state of Georgia approves of me owning a firearm. Ha! If I don't make the cut, then the state of Georgia knows something I don't. I swear I was never a Russian spy. Although, I think I resemble the "Hot" one in the news right now. OK, OK, stop laughing and breathe. It does make me feel like a 'new kind of tough' to think of having a permit and owning my own gun, though. I'll just have to hitch my pants a little higher (hello dork!) and keep being as cool as I've always been. Wait, the phones ringing.......... yeah, that was Russia, but I told them they had the wrong number.

Bought a peep hole for the front door yesterday. Now we have to install it. Turns out the new bit we bought is too big for our drill. Why, oh why, must everything on our 'things to do before Bruce leaves' list cost so much money? I swear I think it would've been cheaper to just buy two plane tickets to Korea for Alyssa and me and call it even. Ugh! There's still more things to buy, too! Laptop, gun, Christmas gifts ...::violin music begins cascading through the air::.. (or is that the sound of the dueling banjos fading away as the people across the street pull out of the neighborhood?)

Veteran's Day

I wanted to take a moment and post a picture of my absolutely fabulous husband. He serves our country with pride, and has for the last 16 years.

Bruce, I love you more and more every day. As cliche as it may sound, I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. You are an extraordinary man and bring joy to my life in ways I never knew possible. Thank you for all this, and your service to our country.

Dr. Suess and Mr. Verizon

I took Alyssa to Barnes & Noble this morning for their story time. She loved it! I am amazed at the fact that she sat in my lap the entire time. This was truly not what I expected, considering she won't sit still for 15 seconds at home. But, sit still she did. I guess this might be a regular thing for us now.

I'm on my way up to the Verizon store. Wish me luck. There's a glitch with my phone where I can't see any instant messages. They blew me off the last time I went up there to have it looked into, but since I had the-child-that-won't-sit-still-for-15-seconds with me, I was more than happy to say "Oh okay" when the sales guy babbled something to me. My arm was at the point of muscle failure from holding the wiggle monster, and I simply didn't have the patience to insist it be fixed. I do today, though! Bruce is home and I get to go by myself! Whoo hoo... this means I'll get to listen to REAL music in the car. Oh, the things that make me happy these days.

Oh, and I about had a conniption when I realized it was Wednesday. I'm going to find father time and kick his ass. I can't believe this month is almost halfway over, and the days are fewer and fewer til Bruce leaves..::sound of heart tearing like paper::... Time to get the big girl panties out.

County Fair: Then & Now

This past weekend was wonderful. Bruce and I took Alyssa to the County Fair. She is still so little, so she couldn't go on any rides other than the carousel, but she loved it all. She was people watching, looking at all the big rides and saying "Oooh, abba robi molla", which I have no clue as to what she meant, but she sure was excited! We ate funnel cakes, cotton candy, chicken on a stick, and BBQ sandwiches. Alyssa wanted nothing to do with the cotton candy. I skipped dinner that night, but my scale was still pissed at me the next morning. Up two pounds... I swear I'm about to consider cocaine to get this last 15 pounds off. ONLY KIDDING! Just making sure you're paying attention.

NO! Get that crap away from me! I don't care how good you say it is!

  

Carousel with Daddy

 It was a beautiful day here on Saturday, too. As we walked around enjoying the sunshine and sights, it made me think of going to the fair when I was a little kid. The only person I really remember going with was my big sister. Being ten years older, she took me to do A LOT of things. One night, when I was about six, she took me to the fair and we rode a ride that made us wonder if we were going to get off alive. I kid you not. It was this metal cage where I had to sit in front of her and the "door", which was on our left side, slid shut. Well, it didn't slide shut. Oh, it slid, but it didn't catch. This ride would slowly start to glide back and forth until it reached the top of the circle and rotated all the way over. We were the only ones on this ride, and when it started going we reached a 90 degree angle from the ground and the door slid open. We both started screaming, my sister was yelling, repeatedly, at the guy to stop the ride, but he thought we were just screaming for "fun". (There's no way he couldn't know... therefore, I've already reserved a special place in hell for him). The ride continued on. Gliding higher and higher. The door was trying to slide open each time we reached a certain height. I was terrified. But, she held that door shut, told me it was going to be fine, and held me tight. I knew she was lying, but I appreciated it. The ride finally stopped and we got off in one piece. My sister's wrist was so jacked-up by that time. It was swelling and simply did not look good. We had to find a first aid station where they wrapped it. Mind you, this was 30 years ago (OMG... that makes me feel OLD), so they didn't have the PR concerns they do today. I could only imagine if something like that were caught on cell phone video today! But that was then, and this is now, and thank god they take more precautions these days.

Saturday will be one of those days that I think back on when I'm having a bad day. The memories we made are sure to help me get through anything!

New directions, but no life-size dolls

I tell ya, I can get lost making three left-hand turns. I don't know what it is, but I am not one of those people that can drive somewhere once and then "know" how to get back there again. Now that we have navigational systems for our cars, it's no big deal anyway. Let me interject here: I DO know how to read a map, and that's not a problem... it's just the memory/direction thing that gets me every time. Well, my TOMTOM died a few weeks ago. Damn thing was only 2.5 years old, and all of a sudden it can't get a GPS signal. With my husband leaving to go overseas, this had to be resolved. I can't be calling him asking for the quickest route from our home to somewhere else when he's halfway across the world. So, we decided the only option was to buy a new GPS. We found a great deal, and I now have my brand spanking new TOMTOM. Bigger screen, lifetime maps, and it's even customized! It's truly the neatest thing. I picked out a design with a black background and Celtic clovers. It is too cool for school. I can't wait to put it in the Jeep. Herein lies the problem... It won't stick. No suction, which sucks. I wrote the TOMTOM people about this issue and said "PLEASE ADVISE". Hope they get back to me soon. I'd hate to end up in South Carolina the next time I try to go to Nashville.

We received the "Daddy Doll" in the mail today. It's awesome! Now that I've seen it, I am seriously considering buying the really big one for me. Don't laugh. I am not joking. Oh... and if only they had an 'anatomically correct' version! What? You think that's sick? Lol... then you might just be on the wrong page, 'cause I am not a woman to be trifled with when it comes to going without. But go without, I will, because I am "Army Wife Strong". I should add 'Savage' strong to that, too.... it's an elite group, if you haven't heard of it.

Next, we should be getting two new web cams in the mail. One for him and one for me. Skype, here we come! I've heard from other military couples that this one thing is what seemed to make the separation somewhat tolerable. What a wonderful world we live in when we have technology such as this!

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend. We're going to the county fair, and hopefully I'll have some funny stuff to share about it the next time I'm here.

And this one time on a road trip...

I have nothing terribly interesting in which to write about today... at least not from my current daily life. So, I will attempt to entertain with a story from my past.

This story involves my sister. She's 10 years older than me, and pretty fabulous. Well, when I was about 16, she decided she wanted to go to Florida for a few days. Being fabulous, as she is, she decided to take me with her. Off we go, from TN, in her little blue Triumph convertible. Wind blowing through our hair, music blasting on the radio, and the sun already beginning to burn the top part of our legs by the time we were halfway down there. We had a blast on that trip. We went to the beach to work on our tans, slept in, ate out, went shopping, flirted at every opportunity... just a good time all the way around. Of course, being sisters, there's bound to be something to piss one off, while the other laughs hysterically... anything else would be dysfunctional. In this case, it was on the ride home. You see, it takes about eight hours to get from TN to FL, and when the fun is over and you're on your way home, there's nothing better than taking a nap to make the drive go faster. Well, I fell asleep only to wake up to my sister saying "Claire! Claire! Wake up! Those boys are waving at you". Low and behold.... there was a car right beside us with four young guys in it. They were waving. They were smiling. It was almost as if they were laughing. That should have been the second red flag... the first being when my sister said "They're waving at YOU". She's not the type to not include herself when being admired, seeing as she's pretty cute anyway. Well, I was giggling and smiling, just as any respectable 16 year old with over-active hormones would, when I put my hand to my mouth for some reason. Slick. It felt slick. As a matter of fact, my entire face had this odd and oily feeling. Now, imagine... the whole time I was smiling, giggling, waving, just about convinced the love of my life might be in that car, only to suddenly feel very confused. They're not waving, as I have deluded myself into thinking, because I'm the cutest girl in the world and I deserve this attention. At this point, I realized they WERE LAUGHING. Laughing hard, too.  When I found a mirror, I saw what had happened. While I had fallen asleep, my sister must have gotten bored driving, found her brightest lipstick, and proceeded to mark my face with it! I don't mean a little here and there. I mean it was everywhere. The bit of wisdom I learned that day was that you can't even trust family. They can take you down with one little tube of lipstick.

That's OK. I had to wait 20, yes 20, years for my revenge. I haven't exactly had my revenge, but I can say I have my ammunition if ever needed. I may never use this ammunition, but at least in having it I know I can threaten her if the need ever arises. Yes, I'm wicked.... didn't you read the damn title?

Too much work and cussin' kids

Too much work can kill you, y'know. I'm not a girl that likes to take chances, either, but this morning I found myself doing way too much. I vacuumed the downstairs, did two loads of laundry, dusted, cleaned the kitchen, switched out the filter on the vacuum, cleaned all the floor mats, and even changed the tablecloth on the dining table. I'm glad it's done, but I guar-un-tee you I will be pacing myself in the future. At one point, I even thought I might be glistening... danger, danger, danger! My normal daily habits include cleaning the kitchen, doing a load of laundry, and maybe one other chore. Of course, don't think for a moment that I'm lazy. I am a perpetual picker-upper, considering I have a toddler. I'm also never laying around watching TV, except for about an hour after dinner with my husband. I just prefer to space out the drudgery. A little here, a little there... and then it never feels like it builds up. Never all in the morning, at least, never again.

I HAVE been getting lazy with dinner, though. Since my husband and I are trying to watch our fab bodies ..::cough, cough::.., it seems like we eat A LOT of plain baked chicken, plain veggies, and brown rice. Well, I switched it up last night. My computer was down, so I actually got a cookbook out to find a recipe in which to use my bay scallops. I made Creamy Herbed Pasta with Scallops. Oh.My.God. It was so good. Of course, any meal with a cream cheese-based sauce has got to be scrumptious, right? I just knew my scale was going to be a bitch to me this morning, but low and behold... I dropped half a pound! Hmmmm, it makes me think I should eat pasta with fattening sauces more often.

We have a play date this afternoon. Alyssa's little friend seems to be a good influence, but I've got my eye on her... you really have to watch out for the ones that are corrupt but hide behind their cuteness! Considering Nora doesn't smoke or drink, I think she's a winner. I have heard her cuss, though. Lol... my kind of kid. (just kidding, just kidding... she's never cussed around me)

Crying over not having to do as much laundry...

My husband has packed up most of his stuff to be shipped overseas. The transportation people are supposed to be picking it all up today, but no sign of them yet. Figures. One positive about this is he has to stay home until they show up, so I have my sweetie at home. But anyway, this morning I was doing some laundry and as I was putting it all away, I noticed how much is missing. There I was in the closet, with a big knot in my throat, trying not to cry. It's not as if he's gone... he still has several weeks before he leaves, but it is breaking my heart already. We've gone through a few separations in the past few years, but they never seem to get any easier. And, this one, being one year, is going to be the hardest. I am still holding onto a small sliver of hope that we will be able to join him overseas, though. Hey! Do what you gotta do. Right?

Even Supergirl has her moments

Trick-or-Treating was a lot of fun last night. Good company, good drinks, good food, and cute kids in costumes. Alyssa seemed to get the hang of knocking on doors and then receiving candy. One thing I'll have to work on for next year is to teach her not to run into people's houses when they open the door. Thank goodness all the people she stormed in on seemed to have a sense of humor about it.

Last night, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I was up for almost four hours. This is the third night in a row that this has happened. I know it's just the changes ahead that I'm a little stressed about, but I surely hope it stops. I need my sleep! At least with my husband home today I have a little help keeping Alyssa entertained. The windows are open, bringing in a nice cool breeze, too.... so, it's just a calm relaxing day. I'm going to enjoy it.

I'll be drinking Blood Margaritas...

I was up at 6:30 this morning with Alyssa. It's my husband's turn to sleep in, so up I was with a grumpy little toddler. She's been yelling at me when she wakes up in the morning, lately. I swear if I could understand her, I'd do whatever was needed to make it stop. But, I have no clue what she's trying to say when she points that finger at me and barks out her orders. Oh well... I have NO idea where she could get the bossiness from.

I'm off to Kohl's this morning. I've got my 15% off coupon and they've got an "extra extra savings sale" going on. Who in their right mind, with $15 bucks, would pass that up? Then I'm going to swing into Target. The past few days have included a bit of shopping. We went to Aldi yesterday. I just love that place. Spend $100 there and it's like spending $200 at Wal Mart. OH, and on Friday I went into Food Lion. Bought $42 worth of stuff, and paid $18 after coupons. Whoo-hooo!

So, tonight will be Alyssa's first adventure with Trick-or-Treating. I'm so excited! My little Supergirl is going to be knocking on doors and yelling "BOO" at people. At least, I hope so.  After she saw me put on a black bird mask the other day, I'm a little worried what she's going to think when she sees the other kid's costumes. Her poor little heart just stopped. I could tell when she jumped backwards, gasped, and looked as if she couldn't decide if she should scream or run, or both. Poor thing. And, am I evil since I found it hilarious? Nevermind, don't answer that.

We're going to a friend's house before trick-or-treating to have a couple of drinks. Gotta get warmed up for an evening when Alyssa will be staying up way past her bedtime, y'know. My friend has already told me about the Blood Margaritas she's going to make. Never had one of those... I may just have to have two to form an opinion. The good thing about it is that they live just across the street, so we won't have to worry about driving. Then we're going to go through the neighborhood, with our girls, to rack up some major candy. I bought several bags of candy a couple of weeks ago, thinking we'd take Alyssa out for a little while and then come home to give out candy. As much as I joke about eating all her candy, I really don't want any of it in the house. I guess I could just put it all in a bowl on the front porch. I'm sure the first kid to come by our house will appreciate it.

Happy Halloween!

It's Friday and I can't decide if that's a good or bad thing.

The days are slipping away. It seems as if time has accelerated beyond my normal perception. While, I'm happy that it's Friday (because that means two full days with my stud muffin), I'm not happy because this past week just seems as if it's evaporated. Kind of like an ice cube in Arizona. Time can be cruel, and I don't mean just to the aging woman...lol. I can't imagine time going this quickly while Bruce is in Korea. What's a girl to do?

One thing I'm going to do is make a list of things I want to accomplish while he's gone. Which reminds me... I was going to write about this yesterday, but a fellow military spouse beat me to the punch. She's just the cutest thing... but quick. I read her list yesterday and when I finished I felt like I needed a nap. She's got way too much motivation. Makes us thirty something moms feel lazy! LOL... give it ten years, she'll slow down. So, anyway... here's my list:

1. Learn another language (using Rosetta Stone). Brush up on my German, and work on French.
2. Take some online courses to finish up my degree
3. Enroll Alyssa in swimming classes
4. Find some kind of volunteer work
5. Become a ninja
6. Write my blog everday

I'm sure there will be other things to add to it, but that's what I'm starting with. I've got a sister in TN, so I may try to kidnap her one weekend just for the fun of it. I wonder if I could pull something like that off? That'll take some planning, though. She's a fighter when provoked. I might just put it on the list after I accomplish #5.

Alyssa will be dressed up as Supergirl for Halloween. She can't say "Trick-or-Treat", but she's got "BOO!" down pretty good. I doubt anyone will turn her away.
So, Happy Halloween to all! May your kids get nothing but the good, expensive candies so you can steal it from them while they're asleep. That's what I plan on doing ;0  (I will, of course, rationalize it by saying that I was doing 'safety checks').

I hope I'm a good shot.

I just applied for a gun permit. Yeah, they let anyone apply for these things. I had to answer several questions regarding felonies and misdemeanors, and you know what I found hilarious about that? The fact that I had to stop and think. Seriously. I realized at my age, and from time to time living vicariously through some of my friends' stories, that there've been some laws broken. After thinking about it, I remembered that I wasn't involved in any of them. But as for some of my friends, and I won't name names... let's just say her name starts with an "S" and ends with an "acie", well... she's not gonna be getting a gun permit anytime soon ..::wink, wink, Stacie::.. No, I'm not really throwing her under the bus. I just love to get her all riled up.

I come from a family that knows how to use guns. As a matter of fact, I have a 15yr old niece who can put most men to shame with a little target shooting. Her little brother is about the same. Talk about some cute kids! Oh, and my neice isn't just 'cute'... she's really, really pretty... so I get such a kick out of it when my brother sends me pictures of her and her latest kill. There she is with her little pretty smile, long hair, and.... a dead deer. They like to hunt wild turkey, deer, and dove. Just depends which season is open.

So, anyway, I have a standard to uphold, here. Hell... I'm surrounded by good shots. My husband is an expert shot in the military, my sister is pretty scary with a rifle, and my brother regularly gets his limits in season. And my dad? HA! Let me tell you: This one time, I was out at his house helping with some yard work and he wanted to move some tin for his roof from out of the yard. Well, he told me that he'd seen some copperheads recently, and that he wanted me to stand back when he lifted the tin. He was holding a rifle at the time, too. So, I take a couple of steps back as he lifts the tin and before I know it, he's pushed that tin out of the way, pulled that gun up, aimed, and shot the head off of this little copperhead. It makes a difference that it was a little copperhead, too, because there wasn't as much to aim at. I mean, the whole thing happened in a matter of maybe five seconds. That was one of those defining moments that I knew my daddy was one of the best.

When I applied for the permit, I was told that they'd either send it to me in about 30 days, or they'd call me to set up an "APPOINTMENT". When I heard that, I went back to racking my brain, just to make sure there wasn't anything I had forgotten. LOL... I can see it now.... (Phone rings) "Well, Claire, it seems we need you to come in and discuss a few things". All I can say is, I think the statue of limitations ran out on me for biting that little girl in kindergarten, so I should be ok.

Can I get a breeze here, please?

Whew... almost 85 degrees where I am, and it's so humid, too. It's just hard to believe that November is a few days away and this is the weather we're having. Hopefully, it'll cool down so that I can open all the windows again. There's nothing like cool, fresh air going through the house, with the curtains billowing out, catching all the smells from outside wafting through. It's just heaven. The only drawback to this is the amount of dust that comes into the house. It's as if the dust fairy comes in with the breeze, waves her wand, and *Poof*... dust everywhere. Looks like I haven't dusted in a month. This is a problem. You see, I have standards... and these standards dictate that I do not dust more than once every two weeks. It keeps me from becoming obsessive/compulsive. Not that I have any history of this, but you can never be too careful.

I'm picking up my Jeep from the dealership this afternoon. I really hope these are the last of any repairs that will be needed for a long time because I've got other things I need to spend my money on.... like plane tickets to Korea. Thinking of Korea reminds me: we just watched the F1 Gran Prix, which was in Yeongam, Korea. This was the inaugural race for this track. Amazing race. Wet track, plenty of crashes, and it really shook up the leader board for the projected driver's championship. Oh, how I wish Alyssa and I were going with Bruce. If we were, then we'd be within reasonable traveling distance to six races. I guess I'll just have to hold on to the memory of Indianapolis '06. Now, that was, so incredibly, one of those instances of being in the right place at the right time. I may just write about that experience tomorrow.

Censorship

Censorship sucks. I've just realized that I really have to censor my thoughts on here. Even though the whole point is for me to write about what I find interesting.... God knows who'll take something I write and misconstrue it into something else. It's a good thing I love my wonderful husband so much... and respect his career and clearance, or else I'd say "Get over it... not my problem". You see... I just wrote this interesting post about this stupid punk who was smoking a joint on his front porch today. He happens to live directly across the street. He's 15, not in school, and there's something else going on over there. Well, I called the Sheriff's dept and reported it. If he's dumb enough to smoke a joint on his front porch, he deserves to be busted.

So, herein lies my issue... my previous post was hilarious... oh, if you missed it then you just missed it. It was up for all of 10 minutes before my sweet, darling husband SQUASHED it. Oh well. He's worth it.

Dolls and Dancing

I just ordered a Hug-A-Hero doll for Alyssa. The people who came up with this idea are brilliant. Not exactly cheap, but I figured it's well worth the investment. So, I took a few pics of Bruce in his ACU's and picked out my favorite. This picture will be put on the front of a 17" pillow. It's a doll, it's a pillow. Basically, it's a pillow in the outline of his body with his photo on the front. The back of the pillow will have the Army digital camo. I splurged and got the voice recorder, too. Now, she'll be able to hear "I love you sweetie" anytime she wants. Damn near makes me cry. I'll probably sneak in her room after she's asleep and 'borrow it' til the morning. I have no shame.

OK, something to laugh about: I got busted dancing like a fool today. Bruce had called and said he'd be late, so Alyssa and I were killing time listening to Louis Prima and cavorting around downstairs. I was singing at the top of my lungs and doin' my goofy dance moves that only a toddler can appreciate, when Bruce walked in through the kitchen. Early. I never even heard him. It wasn't til I saw him that I just about dropped Alyssa and stopped dancing. I forgot that I'd asked him to take my Jeep and fill the tank, so he parked in the garage instead of coming in the front door.

"I'm just a gigalo, everywhere I go, people know the part I'm playin'"... well, my time of playin' the cool and sexy wife just ended. I hope he'll be able to get the memory from this afternoon out of his head. Hopefully, I'll restore my image as 'sexy wife' tomorrow night on our date night. LOL... I'll play hard to get. HAHAHAHAHA!

On a side note...

Today, I have had a couple of conversations that made me think about life and death. So many times, we take for granted the people we have in our lives. Whether it be our children, spouse, parents, siblings, or friends... they can be taken away in an instant. Of course, these life moments are never planned. They come on unexpectedly, with great shock.
Bruce and I were having to discuss what would happen to Alyssa if, tragically, something happened to us. I realized that this must be something all parents worry about. But then, I began thinking about my parents. Those thoughts made me feel like I was a kid again, waking from a bad dream. My point is: treat those you love better than you treat the acquaintances in your life. Don't pass up the opportunity to make a phone call to say "Hello, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you".
Also, make sure the ones you keep close are the ones that deserve to be kept close. Are they bringing anything to the table? And by that I mean, are they contributing to your happiness and well-being? Do they think of you first, or as an after-thought? If not... kick their ass to the curb. There's someone out there to take their place, and do it right!

Whine and Wine

One always leads to the other.... at least for me. Bruce usually gets home in the afternoon and plays with Alyssa to give me some time to myself. That's when I get a glass of wine. There is, inevitably, some whining throughout the day, so I savor this first glass. I prefer Merlot, and as I start to sip this red concoction, I feel myself begin to let go of the stresses that accumulated throughout the day. Now, let me pause here to interject... NO, I do not need wine to wind down. I am perfectly capable of winding down by other measures. Like sex! But that's another blog, and I'm sure I just shocked the hell out of some family members. LOL, I like to do that sometimes.  But, anyway... as the days wear on, and December cruelly creeps upon us, I wonder what I'm going to do when he's not walking in the door around 6pm to relieve me. I dread it. I am so lucky that this man comes home, smiles, kisses me, asks me about my day, then whisks Alyssa away for her bath and bedtime story. It gives me some time to sit at the computer or wander around the kitchen while I cook some chicken. By the time he comes back downstairs, I'm the bestest, happiest wife a man could ask for. The routine is going to change, though, whether I like it or not. It's going to be "All Mommy, All the time." That's cool. I can deal with it, being the fabulous gal that I am. But don't y'all think for a second that I won't whine about it. On a positive note, what's going to be really cool is when Alyssa performs a new trick six months from now. The opening line for this will be "Have you ever seen a two year old open a bottle of wine?"

Coffee and Trust

Bit of wisdom: Don't drink four cups of coffee, when you normally drink two, and expect to feel calm and relaxed. This bit of wisdom I forgot. I had a friend and her daughter over this morning for coffee and a play date, but drank my two normal cups starting at 6:30am. So, she shows up with her cutie in tow, and I proceed to have 2 more cups while the girls are playing. About 20 mintues after the fourth cup, I began to sweat. As the saying goes, I felt like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew. Phew... my heartrate is up, my hands are shaking, and if it weren't for my daughter napping, I'd probably be fiendishly cleaning the house right now. I'm sure the urge will pass by the time she gets up. Anyway, it's not smart to operate large machinery under the influence. Vacuum cleaners fall into this category in my book.

I am so excited about this weekend! I've worked out a babysitting arrangement with a friend, so now we'll both be able to have date nights with our husbands. Which means Bruce and I will be having dinner and going to a haunted house this Saturday night. I can see it now....::soft music playing::.... romantic dinner (in which all we talk about is our daughter), then on to a fun-filled time at the haunted house (of which, in the middle of the haunted house I will think, "Why the HELL did this seem like fun?!"), then back home by 10 (which in turn will only make me feel old, considering my nights didn't even get started until 10 before the baby). LOL... no, I'm not really that negative, but while Date Nights are great in theory, they're hard to live up to. I'm still excited about it... and anyway, all the real fun probably won't happen til after we get home ;)

Which reminds me of a story: When I was about 17, I went to a haunted house with several friends. We were all psyched up for having the hell scared out of us. Oh, and the haunted house wasn't just a house. The way it was set up, you had to go through a house, then go outside to get to a bus which had been decorated and had people hiding in it and they'd jump out, then we'd have to run across a field to get to the next designated spot, and so on, and so forth. There were probably five or six different scary themed areas on the property. WELL... let me tell you, this was a rude awakening on how friends can leave you high and dry, not caring if you live or die. We were all running from the bus when this ungodly scary guy comes out of the woods with a chainsaw running. It was realistic. Too realistic. Motor was running, he was revvin' it, and you could even smell the oil comin' from it. This guy did not look good either. Huge, bloody guy who was yelling loudly how he was going to KILL us. Like I said before, we ran. Took off screaming across the WET grass as if the devil himself were chasing us for our souls. Now, you'd think if you fell down, a true friend would stop and help you up. They definitely wouldn't pause, turn around, laugh hysterically, then turn back around and take off running again. Right? Well, that's just what I did. I wasn't stoppin' for nothin'. I left poor Andrea laying there on the ground, screaming her head off, as that chainsaw beast was headed towards her. She lived, but that was the night that I realized I needed to work on my trust-building techniques.

Where to start?

Well, let's see. I guess I could introduce myself with a few current facts.
I'm in my thirties. I'm married to an incredible man who is also a Staff Sergeant in the US Army. We have a daughter, named Alyssa, who is 22 months old. She's amazingly brilliant, even though she can't control her bodily functions and has yet to put two different words together. It'll happen. There is a domesticated miniature tiger who runs around our home. We call her Ginger. As long as she is fed and watered, we're safe.

Currently, we're living in GA. Of course, being a military family, that will change sooner rather than later. The Army has decided that my husband will be leaving for Korea soon. I thought we'd all be going together, but.... no Kimchi for me. Oh well, I'm heartbroken, but I just gotta rub some dirt in it, as they say. It will be a year apart, but I'm not worried about him. Made him sign some contracts in blood and threatened to set his ass on fire if he does anything. By 'anything', I mean anything stupid with someone else. It's my issue, not his. He's a really good man, but I'm of the frame of mind "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone's NOT out to get you". I guess here is a good spot to interject that I am a confident, well-adjusted, brilliant, sexy, and quite humble gal. I'm just smart enough to realize that I have a real gold nugget of a guy, and I'm not going to let him get away. So, anyway, time is creeping up on us and we're trying to get the important things done before he leaves. Like... buy a gun. Whooo hooo, I can't wait. On our anniversary he took me to a firing range and I found out that I am particularly competent with a 9mm. Ah, that was a night. But, I digress....in order to get the gun, I've got to get a license. Which means I have to get an actual GA driver's license to do that. Whoops! I guess I let that one slip for the last two years we've been here. It's amazing all the little things that have to be done to be prepared for something like this. I mean, down to getting a peep-hole for the front door! Which reminds me, I don't have that on the list. And so the list grows...

Well, that's about it for me today. I'm going to get fodder for the next entry. See y'all soon.