I have nothing terribly interesting in which to write about today... at least not from my current daily life. So, I will attempt to entertain with a story from my past.
This story involves my sister. She's 10 years older than me, and pretty fabulous. Well, when I was about 16, she decided she wanted to go to Florida for a few days. Being fabulous, as she is, she decided to take me with her. Off we go, from TN, in her little blue Triumph convertible. Wind blowing through our hair, music blasting on the radio, and the sun already beginning to burn the top part of our legs by the time we were halfway down there. We had a blast on that trip. We went to the beach to work on our tans, slept in, ate out, went shopping, flirted at every opportunity... just a good time all the way around. Of course, being sisters, there's bound to be something to piss one off, while the other laughs hysterically... anything else would be dysfunctional. In this case, it was on the ride home. You see, it takes about eight hours to get from TN to FL, and when the fun is over and you're on your way home, there's nothing better than taking a nap to make the drive go faster. Well, I fell asleep only to wake up to my sister saying "Claire! Claire! Wake up! Those boys are waving at you". Low and behold.... there was a car right beside us with four young guys in it. They were waving. They were smiling. It was almost as if they were laughing. That should have been the second red flag... the first being when my sister said "They're waving at YOU". She's not the type to not include herself when being admired, seeing as she's pretty cute anyway. Well, I was giggling and smiling, just as any respectable 16 year old with over-active hormones would, when I put my hand to my mouth for some reason. Slick. It felt slick. As a matter of fact, my entire face had this odd and oily feeling. Now, imagine... the whole time I was smiling, giggling, waving, just about convinced the love of my life might be in that car, only to suddenly feel very confused. They're not waving, as I have deluded myself into thinking, because I'm the cutest girl in the world and I deserve this attention. At this point, I realized they WERE LAUGHING. Laughing hard, too. When I found a mirror, I saw what had happened. While I had fallen asleep, my sister must have gotten bored driving, found her brightest lipstick, and proceeded to mark my face with it! I don't mean a little here and there. I mean it was everywhere. The bit of wisdom I learned that day was that you can't even trust family. They can take you down with one little tube of lipstick.
That's OK. I had to wait 20, yes 20, years for my revenge. I haven't exactly had my revenge, but I can say I have my ammunition if ever needed. I may never use this ammunition, but at least in having it I know I can threaten her if the need ever arises. Yes, I'm wicked.... didn't you read the damn title?