I went to my follow-up appointment today. After all the bandages were taken off, it was quite obvious that something did not go as planned. Now my Dr. is "out of the office" but I was reassured by another Dr. in the group that my doctor wouldn't leave me hanging, that's he's an excellent surgeon, and that he was sure this was not what my doctor had intended. It's kind of depressing.... dealing with the hassle of getting everything approved, struggling to find help with Alyssa, having the surgery itself with an entire day of vicious vomiting afterwards, and now this. The doctor was quite surprised that I wasn't taking any pain medication, but hell, so was I! I was prepared for it to be much more painful, so this level of discomfort is tolerable without pain meds. Although, now I have to go back to taking them in order to tolerate the "aggressive massaging" they want me to do. OK... no problem. I'll do my part as long as they do theirs.
SO, to focus on what I can control and in trying to be positive, I have to tell myself that this WILL be taken care of. It WILL turn out OK. I am resilient. Maybe, just maybe the massaging will help. If it doesn't, well then... it will simply have to be fixed. I can deal with that, too.
My wonderful husband called me this evening to see how my appointment went. We don't normally talk in the evenings, so it just seemed very sweet for him to call and made me feel so loved. He's been very supportive through this whole thing. When he saw on Skype what I was worried about, he agreed that something wasn't right, and that whatever it took we would get it fixed. Then he followed that up by telling my how beautiful he thinks I am.
I'm tough. I'm hanging in there. But, what I really want to do is cry. This wasn't supposed to happen.