Two things a wicked woman will always do

Today I was checking out what search words people had typed in that ended up bringing them to my blog. I laughed out loud when I read "Two things a wicked woman will always do." What I found so funny about this is that someone actually needed to know. Whether they are trying to weed out a "wicked" woman from one who is not wicked by two specific behaviors or not, we'll never know (unless they happen to read this and feel like commenting), or the possibility that someone they know might be wicked and they're trying to find two specific charcteristics to back up what they already think about this person who may or may not be wicked. I will answer this question at the end, but first I need to give a little background to my answer. Thank goodness recent events provided such a clear cut answer.

I'm wicked. My dream last night only confirmed it. Seriously, I am not making this up. Last night I dreamed **let me interject here: please forgive my subconscious if I mention you in the details of my dream, it only means you are important enough to be in my dreams, and it probably means nothing anyway, but just in case it does mean something... you might want to grab a bible and straighten up if you want to get into heaven and are doing something that you are aware of that "heavenly" people don't do** so, anyway... last night I dreamed that I was with a random group of strangers in the street. I don't know what we were doing, but when I became aware of where I was water began filling up the streets. The odd thing was that it wasn't rising around the people and myself, but rather it was lifting us all up above this weird shaped wave. We were all actually on top of the water. I ended up being at the top of the wave (maybe I'm the wickedest) and all of a sudden a sort of cloudy apparition appeared in front and slightly above us. At first, people started saying it was a demon, but it didn't seem quite as menacing as I would imagine a demon to be. This apparition (for lack of a better word) seemed to form itself out of a dark, cloud-like mist into a face without clear features, but rather holes where the eyes, nose and mouth would be. The apparation then tells us something along the lines of: we aren't going straight to heaven, but the people who are have already been taken.

I look around as the wave rescinds and now it is dark and people are scattering. I walk over to a building that is sectioned off on the inside by partial walls. People are taking seats in pews. I notice that there are a lot of people. Actually most of them I knew. They are all sitting together in the same groups as I knew them in real life. The friends from early childhood, middle school, high school, college, and people since then are all grouped respectively. As I walked along the outside wall of long pews (yes, I realize it seems church-like, but it wasn't a church) I am really surprised to see two girls that I went to elementary school with. I thought "Wow, I NEVER thought THEY would be here. I always thought those two girls were so shy and sweet." But there they were, never the less. So, I kept walking towards the back of the room, looking for someone I knew well enough to sit with. Low and behold, there's Kim. My very best friend of almost 23 years. She was about to sit with some girls from high school, and I was trying to get her attention because I didn't want to sit there for some reason. She sees me and we both keep walking towards the back of the room. We then walk into another section that's divided off from the previous room, and we take a seat together. Now this room is almost empty. Then Jennifer walks up. She's my other bestie of about 21 years. She'd dressed to the nines. Of course she's going to look fabulous, she can't help it. I am surprised that they are both there. At the same time, I'm relieved. (Now what does that say about  my selfishness???) Then we "hear" the explanation of why we are all there. It was a very formal lecture, yet it wasn't fire and brimstone. I can't remember exactly what was said, but the gist of it was that we weren't bad enough to go to hell, but we weren't good enough to get into heaven. We had to "serve" four years. I don't know what we were supposed to do during this time, but I remember being bored. Actually, I was emotionless, with the exception of the content feeling I have with being around Kim and Jennifer. To admit to this now really makes me feel guilty. Because I would like to think that if I really did experience this, that I would have the common sense to be a little more interested in what was going on, and not act so blase about it. I mean, it was really as if I was in school, and the teacher was going over something that I already knew. Yeah, I get the Fruedian link to that message too. It's not lost on me.

Anyway, this is where it gets ironic. Bruce walks up. Funny thing was, I hadn't thought about him before he walked up. It's not like I was walking around thinking "Where's Bruce?" or "Oh he must've 'left' already.", it's just that he hadn't entered my subconscious until that point. So, he walks up to us (Jennifer is still standing in front of Kim and I, who are sitting) and he sits beside me and says "Hey, I found a book, that gives shortcuts of how to get this done in two years." I looked at him and said "REALLY?", but honestly I was thinking "Ugh. I have to put effort into this." What's ironic about him finding a book with shortcuts is that the man does not read. In the years that we've been together he's read about three books. It's just not his thing. But this past weekend he starts reading the first book of an entire series (The Princess of Mars) and now he's already onto the second book. Maybe this IS a premonition.

So, it seems I'm wicked for sure. I knew this. I claimed it. And I'll probably end up doing years for it. At least, if my dream is a premonition, I'll be with some of my favorite people. Now to answer the question: Two things a wicked woman will always do... here it is.
#1. A wicked woman will be bored with the idea of purgatory.
#2. A wicked woman will be relieved that all her favorite people won't be going directly to heaven.

I'm off to bed now. First, though, I'm going to talk to my non-practicing Catholic husband on how to do a hail Mary. It might help, who knows?

Thar' she bloooows..... or not.

I just love a Monday that doesn't feel like Monday. It's like an extra Sunday, or the Sunday that follows two Saturdays. LOL... Or, just keep it simple... it's a four day weekend.

We went on a whale watching excursion on Saturday with some friends, but we didn't see any whales. The captain came over the speakers at one point, saying they had spotted one on their radar/sonar, but it never surfaced. I was a little disappointed, but they gave us vouchers to come again on another day. The day was beautiful and the water was mesmerizing. I really enjoyed just being on the boat. It was extremely windy, though, as you can see in these pictures:

 Look at Bruce's hair blowing all over the place.

 Me on a boat, and I'm wearing flippity floppies.

C'mere and gimme some sugah!!!

Tomorrow is kissy, kissy, smoochy, smoochy day. We have nothing exciting planned but I'm just happy Bruce is simply here for it. Last year was pretty lonely with him 6,500 miles away. Thank goodness that's over with! I gave him his Valentine's present early since he gave me mine last weekend. (The Valentine's Ruby Red Jeep, just in case you forgot.) Oh, he milked it, too. I was going to wait until tomorrow to give it to him, but as soon as I picked the package up from UPS he started begging. Well, as close to begging as he gets. So, now he's the proud owner of some sort of Motorola Elite bluetooth thingy. He gave me a couple of options to pick from. All I had to do was choose one and order it. We make it easy on each other like that and it always works out well.

I've got a cute little gift for Alyssa. It's more of a package, though. There's a cup with hearts all over it, with her name on one side and the Hawaiian equivalent of her name on the other side... which is Lani, and it means "Noble". Also in the bag are little items such as animal crackers, washable markers, a curly straw, a tiny slinky, and even some chocolates. She's going to love it!

We went shopping this past weekend to find Alyssa some shoes. We didn't have much luck, but did find one pair. I've got to find some better shopping places, considering I paid $10 for a pair of flippity floppies. Then today I bought her a pair of tennis shoes at Target that cost $22. This is unheard of for me, seeing as I rarely ever spend that much on a pair for myself. I should have thought that one out first, so it's nobody's fault but my own. I "thought" I'd just try a pair on her to see what size she's in now, but once she saw the pink, purple, and silver hearts, it was all over with. She was in love. Needless to say, I'll be finding that Ross that I saw when we were driving around one day.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day! Go find someone you can smoochy, smoochy, kissy, kissy with... and if you're married then your spouse would be the smartest choice. **wink**

Want to play with my golfball?

I learned something new yesterday. It seems that here in Hawaii, if someone approaches you and asks if you want to play with their golf ball they're really asking if you have, or want to buy, ICE. I'm not exactly sure what ICE is (other than the obvious that it's a drug) but Bruce tells me it's been around awhile. So beware... but, I'm imagining there will be some sort of tip-off before the question anyway. Which makes me realize I need to find out the gun regulations.

It was Girl's Night Out last night. Oh, I had such a great time! Although, at one point we thought there would be a total of seven of us, it ended up being a group of four. Two Navy wives, one Marine wife, and myself... the Army wife. We laughed enough for seven though. We went to The Chart House in Waikiki and had a great table with a view of the water. Fireworks started going off halfway through our meal, and just like little kids, we were riveted. Two of the girls I already "knew" from a website I've been on a while. One of those I met in person last weekend, and one girl was completely new to me. The "new" girl was from TN, too, and a complete charmer. We enjoyed a great meal and four hours of conversation without a lull the entire time. We spent almost another hour chatting in the car when we got to our meeting spot. I needed that. The last time I had a girl's night was when Heather and the Hotlanta Hottie and I got together... and I believe that's simply too long between girl's nights out. Bruce said I should do this more often so that I can find the good restaurants before he and I go out. OK, no need to twist my arm.

****************Gripe & Moan Section*******************

*************** Feel free to stop reading.******************

I had a biopsy on Thursday. It'll be up to two weeks before I get the results. I told Bruce this morning that if I were a horse then someone would've already put me down. I'm now dealing with some pretty intense jaw pain too, up by my ear. I can't yawn or open my mouth wide enough to put food in it without having eye-flinching pain. This is not good because I like to yawn and eat several times a day. I'll be making an appointment Monday morning. I go in next week to have my blood levels checked for a supplement they have me on, and to have the stitches removed. I'm scared the doctor will not take me seriously considering I have so many physical issues going on. Jaw pain, joint pains that seem to vary in intensity and location, a rash that's slowly, yet consistently spreading to every part of my body since September, the pain under my arm from the botched reconstructive surgery, and my on-and-off neck pain. Oh, not to forget the weird things on my jawline that are not acne- as it is on the rest of my face- and the fact that I could give a grown man a run for his money with the lovely facial hair I seem to be growing. Ugh. If it weren't for the fact that I have such a wonderful, sweet and supportive husband, an adorable daughter that brings me joy everyday, I honestly don't know what I would do. When I'm with them, I can put several of these things out of my mind (except the pain), but as soon as I step out of the shower and start my routine of covering/hiding all the crap on my skin from literally head to toe, it makes me mad and sad. I have to work to tell myself positive things such as "it'll be different in six months", "Just smile. Nobody will notice them as much as you do", or "I'll find a doctor that will actually take the time to try to figure out how these things are connected." That's all I can do. And at least my husband tells me he honestly doesn't even "see" these things when he looks at me. He does see them, but says he just doesn't notice them because he loves me, and that his mind just seems to block it out. The only reason I believe him is because I've had friends with bad acne and it was the same for me. Their personalities out shined anything on their skin. I take some consolation in that, and just try to smile a lot more. Well, I guess that's more than enough whining... but I really wish I could scream at the doctors, "Please just take the time to consider these things are connected!!!" I'd had that appointment with a wonderful rhuematologist right before we moved here, and thought I was really on the right track to getting some answers, but I now realize it might be a long road here with new doctors. "RUB SOME DIRT IN IT, CLAIRE!!!", and I will. I ain't no quitter.

I may be technically homeless, but I've got a nice car...

I'm running on about 5 hours of sleep, which to some may seem all right, but for me it's not. I'm hoping the coffee beside me will persuade my eyes to come into complete focus. The reason for this is poor lil' Alyssa. She got sick last night and every time she made a sound I was immediately out of bed checking to see if she needed to be carried to the bathroom. I say 'carried' because she is so very rarely sick that she hasn't learned to get up an run for the bathroom. Bless her heart... she'd just throw up in bed if left to her own devices. So, I'd hear a sniff, followed by a cough, and I'd jump up just to make sure there wasn't anything else that was going to follow. She's set up on the couch now with a pillow and a snuggly blanket. I'm set up with the coffee.

Oh, I just had a thought that made me perk up! My new Jeep! **skies open up and angels begin singing** Yes, I have to brag here and get it all out of my system as I'm sure my friends and family are getting sick of me posting comments and pictures on Facebook. So here goes: I got a new Jeep!!! It's bee-yu-tee-full. I had no intention of getting a new one when we decided we were going to need another vehicle. I DID entertain the idea of buying a used 2011, though, but wasn't going to hold my breath. Bruce was saying he wanted a truck, too, so I had no inclination of what direction things were about to go. So anyway, on Saturday we went to the flea market at the Aloha Stadium but finished a lot earlier than we'd planned. I suggested we drive by the car lots then rather than waiting til Sunday. Long story short, we bought the Jeep that day. Now let me tell you about it. Actually, take a look at it, and then I"ll give details. Please forgive me for so blatantly bragging. I have never owned such a nice vehicle, and my husband floored me when he said "Let's get it. You deserve it, and it'll work into the budget." As if I thought I could love him anymore, he goes and says something like that. Well, here it is:

This is the new 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo upgraded with the Limited package. It's got soft leather bucket seats, dual zone climate control, voice-activated commands, keyless entry... and I can even start it without being in it! Cool, right? Just to make sure I don't hit anything, it's got a rear sensor and camera, so when I put it into reverse the 6.5 inch screen for the dash turns into a video of what's going on behind the vehicle. It has heated seats with a 12 point electronic thingy which basically allows me to move the seat everywhere but onto the street. It has a built-in Garmin, and it's bluetooth equipped too. So, if I need to make a call I just push a button on the steering wheel, the lady asks me who to call and I tell her and she puts the call through. If that's not spoiling me absolutely rotten then I don't know what would.  It has several other things but it's only the stuff that guys would think were cool.

The fact that this absolutely gorgeous, sweet, caring and generous man that I am married to would buy something like this for me and take the older Jeep just makes me feel loved. Very loved. I made sure I worked the sales guy down to the lowest possible price. We already had our financing taken care of, so I knew exactly what I was willing to pay. When we first started talking numbers, Nick (the salesguy) walked inside and came back out with a folded sheet of paper. When he showed it to me, I said "No. No to this and No to this.No, no, no." ((pointing at two separate numbers)) I told him that as much as I liked the Jeep, I was NOT into immediate gratification, and this was only the first day we were looking in person. I let him know that I was not even in da mood. I said "Now Nick, you know from our talking the last couple of hours what I am willing to pay. Going back and forth is not going to work. You either take $------, or we leave." He went in, came back out, and I then told him to knock another several thousand off it and to drop the idea of us doing financing through them. Once again, he went in, came back out, and I had to set him straight AGAIN. Poor thing... I know he doesn't make much of a profit once it drops below the MSRP, but a sale is a sale. Now I have me one fine ride. OH yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.... **bobbing head**