D Day

Well... I think I'm ready for tomorrow morning. I've left two long, too long notes for the babysitter. I hope she doesn't think I'm that mom. But I probably am. Oh well, at least I'll be that mom with a great rack after tomorrow. Ahhh... please excuse me, I'm a little worried, and I guess it just comes out as warped humor. Oh, and just in case you don't know the history behind this surgery... it ain't no boob job out of vanity. It's a "reconstructive" surgery. I'm just lucky enough that at age 37, they'll have to do both now.

OK. So, I've got the coffeemaker ready to go on auto at 4:15am. I've cleaned the kitchen. I've got magazines for Kimberly, which she probably won't need 'cause I can just about guarantee you that she'll be flirting with a cute Dr. by the time they're finished with me. I'm about to head up to the bus station to pick her up. That girl is the perfect example of a true friend. Let me tell you... I sent her a text the other day, just to annoy/confirm with her that she was still coming. She responded she would but that she'd have to take a bus since her car had decided to up and die on her. Top that with her very stressful job that she's been staying four hours late at every night this week just so she could take tomorrow off, AND the fact that she just moved last weekend. How do you ever repay someone for all that??? I'm going to have to come up with something good. Real good.

I am nervous. Not really so much about me, but rather Alyssa. When I was talking to Bruce and taking the opportunity to delve into his psyche, I asked him what he would do if I died. I know, I know... completely melodramatic, but I was just curious as to what his response would be. Do you know what that man told me?! He said he'd hire a $25/hr hooker to take care of Alyssa. I guess his sense of humor gets a little warped too, when he's nervous (we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.) I laughed my ass off when he said it, then I said "You ARE joking, right?" He assured me he was. Let's hope we never have to find out.

I am nervous though, for me. I'm not dwelling on it, but I'm going to get it out here. It would suck if something bad did happen. Finally, as an adult, I am happier that I had ever imagined possible. Awesome husband, absolutely beautiful daughter, terrific family, good friends, great home, etc. It seems silly to be worried now that I imagine someone reading this and rolling their eyes, but it's different for me at this age. When I had my spinal surgery at 25, I wasn't nearly as scared. And that was a big deal. Over eight hours of surgery, and the risks were much greater. Considering where I was in my life at that point, if I'd had any sense I would have been terrified. Oh well. I guess it's true that we think we're invincible when we're young. Since I'm no spring chicken anymore, the frontal lobe of my brain is kicking in, saying "What if?"

Well. I'm a lucky girl. I heal quickly, too. There won't be any hitches! I wouldn't be mad, though, if you crossed your fingers, said a prayer, or sent positive juju my way.