We're not in Kansas anymore.

I guess a tornado came through here last night. I slept through it.

The alarm on my phone went off at 5:30 this morning and I turned it off, thinking the bedside alarm would go off 10 minutes later. After a few minutes, I heard my daughter making noise in her room, and when I looked at the clock I realized the electricity was off. It stayed off until almost 8:30 this morning, which meant no Skyping with Bruce. We did chat on the phone, though. We're switching cable companies today and I had to exchange the wireless router I had bought for a more expensive one. It better be worth it. So anyway, since there was no way to heat up Alyssa's breakfast, I decided to run up to Wal Mart, exchange the router and treat her to some McD's pancakes and a hasbrown. Healthy, right? Ugh... she loved it, but I ate a McMuffin and hashbrown and my body is not used to the grease anymore. I'm draggin'.

Well, when we left the house (after I figured out how to get the car out of the garage) I saw there were several really big trees completely uprooted by the high school. This is very close to our house. You could walk straight from my house through a small wooded area, cross the road, and be at the high school. The weird thing about all of this is the fact that one of my my big planters blew over out front, which has got to be at least 50 pounds, but all my little pots of herbs, balancing on the deck railing, were still there. Debris is all over the yard, balcony, and deck... but those little pots didn't move. Thank goodness, too, because I would have been sad if  I'd had to buy new pots and replant all of them.

I've decided to give my back a break from planting today. I think we'll practice being lazy. I may do a load or two of clothes, but nothing more. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the urge to finish up the last couple of planters and clean off the decks and balcony. THEN, I'll post some pictures.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty... I've got something just for you.

Not. Done. Yet.

I have three more planters to fill, then I will start cleaning the 1/2 inch of yellow pollen off of everything we own outside. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel until I added two more projects to work on simultaneously. I am a glutton for punishment.

I am going to bed early. Hopefully, my mother's psycho cat doesn't call me again at 11:00 tonight. Seriously.

Lick a pig, hug a swine... some of them are good friends of mine.

I thought my "afternoon" project would be finished by last night, but it snowballed into 10 projects. Now I need some painkillers and a third wind. It's all going to be worth it, though! I have six different herbs planted, the tree in our front patch of grass is mulched, and several pots of flowers are done. I only have six big planters to fill with palms, ferns, and a cane tree. When Alyssa napped, I also mowed the front and the backyard and even weedeated. Is that even a word? It seems like it should be "weedate", but then that sounds like a date for toddlers... which is a whole different topic. Moving on.

I straightened up our garage, too. Enough so that the trash can is completely full! YAY! No one mention this to my husband or he may get worried that I threw some important stuff out.... which I probably did, but in the heat of the moment I just didn't care. I mean, really... how important could stuff be if it's been sitting in a box for two and half years, untouched, and neglected? I threw out a computer. The whole thing. Yep, I know you're not supposed to do that, but there's no room in the back of my Jeep now that I've got two microwaves to take to the recycling center. Oh, and the computer was one that my ex-husband owned.. so... ::evil laugh::.. who cares? It was bad, bad energy.

Alyssa and I took a break at one point, and stopped over at my neighbor's across the street. She just had surgery a few days ago and I wanted to check on her. So, we barge on in, Alyssa begins screaming at her dogs, and she rolls with it like it happens everyday. She's got a daughter, Michele, who is my age and has two of the cutest kids. Now that I'm getting to know her, I'm beginning to think we were related or friends in a past life. Well, she showed up while we were there and made me eat some "Pig Lickin' Cake". Let me tell you, I would lick a pig to get another piece of that stuff. ..::oink oink::.. To top it off, they gave me two beautiful chimes and lovely birthday cards, one of which was from Alyssa. They picked these out last week when I went to a Dr's appt and Alyssa hung out with them. I sat at that table with the stupidest grin, fighting tears, and thinking how lucky I am to have such sweet neighbors. Honestly, it just made my day.

I love a beautiful Saturday!

OH, it's just gorgeous here, today! When I put Alyssa down for her nap I thought I'd sit and watch TV for awhile, but after 10 minutes of hearing the chimes on my balcony I jumped up, threw on some jeans, socks, and tennis shoes and then started grabbing the pots of dead plants on my balcony. Now the electric mower is charging, all my empty planters are lined up on our deck just waiting to be transformed into beautiful live decorations, and I CAN'T wait for that kid to wake up so we can go up to Home Depot!

I have all the doors and windows open and my heart is singing with spring. Okay, so that's a little dorky... but you get my point: It's a beautiful day, and I'm not going to waste it inside.

After being in the I'm-a-grumpy-bitch-because-I-miss-my-husband-so-much mode, I'm feeling better. Much better. Partly, because I seemed to get box after box in the mail from my husband this week, and he tells me there's still one more coming. There's nothing like a birthday that lasts several days. I tell ya, I could get used to being spoiled like this. He sent me a cute wrought iron wine "bottle" to throw my corks in. Plus, he sent me the Vinturi Wine Aerator that I've been wanting for more than a year. Then, today, I received a salt ramekin (for lack of a better word) that's just like Alton Brown's. You think he loves me? My husband... not Alton Brown. I'm figuring he does, considering how thoughtful he is.

Heather came over last night to try out the wine aerator with me. We were amazed! We did a taste test of "before" and "after", and we could tell a BIG difference in the wine. Ah, it's just so cool to me. I never take the time to let a bottle of red breathe and this little contraption turns a good wine into an excellent wine in a matter of seconds. So, anyway... after some great wine and great laughs she went home and then I skyped with Bruce. We had an awesome, two-hour conversation with NO interruptions. This is an accomplishment only achieved when Alyssa is asleep AND it's the weekend.

Oh! I hear her! She's awake! Home Depot... here we come! I will post some pictures of today's accomplishments on my next entry.

Get outside people! Run! Breathe! Laugh in the sun! Swing a kid around in the air!... just don't drop 'em.

Opening new doors...

Yesterday was my birthday. Several good things happened, too, other than turning one year older. To start with, I was able to fit into my size four jeans (with no muffin-top)!!!! I swear at that moment the skies opened up and I heard angels singing. That means I have reached my goal weight.... actually, I've surpassed it. I am now roughly 135 pounds, which ain't bad for 5'7". If you ever ask me in person how tall I am though, don't be surprised when I say 5'8". I was measured in the Dr's office the other day but the woman who measured me wasn't tall enough to reach the top to adjust it and it was pressing really hard on my head. So, in other words, I disagree with her measurement. Didn't tell her, wasn't worth it... I'm just glad the weight number was so much lower. I'm not used to it yet, either, because I've been looking at myself as a size 12-14 for the last two years. And the year before that I was pregnant. The whole weight thing is just such a relief for me, so now I've decided to lose about 10 more pounds for a little wiggle room.

One of my friends had me over for dinner last night and it was absolutely delicious. I mean, she went all out. She hung a birthday banner, her table was beautifully decorated, she served a salad with pine nuts and goat cheese, then Beef Bourguignon, only to be followed by a Decadent Chocolate Cake. Using the word "delicious" just doesn't do it justice. Oh, and of course she had a fabulous Bordeaux with dinner and a then a dessert wine with the cake. I was SPOILED. It was such a nice evening with great company! Then we came home and I was able to Skype with my husband. I can't tell you how much I miss him. Even from halfway around the world that man manages to make me feel like a queen. So, all in all, it was a great birthday.

Today, I had three doors installed. I now have an awesome storm door in the front, and two screen doors on the back of the house. I even splurged on the front door and got the model with the easiest pull bar for the screen. No pain-in-the-ass tabs to squeeze and break my nails! All installed just in time to enjoy this spring weather before the summer humidity and sweltering heat begins.

Although I haven't written in over a month, I am determined to start writing again... consistently. Consider it a threat.

Something to crow about...

At last! Something worth putting down in.... uh, cyberspace. My niece is the TN State Wrestling Champion in the 105lb weight class!!! She rocks! I was told she pinned the first girl in 34 seconds and the second girl in 41 seconds. Yeah, she's got superpowers.

Valentine's Day was nice. Even though Bruce and I weren't together, it was still pretty romantic. He manages to pull all this off from so many miles away, too. Roses, which are still beautiful a week later, a gift certificate for a massage, and even one more package is on it's way. He said he mailed it a week and a half ago so it's got to be here any day now.

I've started a new list of things to do. My projects this week are: Start on the passports (mine is a hassle) and go by the education center on base. Going out with Alyssa lately has been a challenge, though. I can now completely understand what my brother meant when he said he didn't take the kids out til they were about 8. Makes sense to me now. Y'see... I like to avoid drama... oh yes, it's true... I'm not real big on any loud scenes in public. I can't say the same for Alyssa, though. She's been acting like a real drama queen. She actually got the best of me the other day. To put it simply... I was defeated by a two year old. Reduced to tears. After ten hours of tantrums, fits, moods, frustrations, tears, and pouty lips I was crying on Skype to my husband that "She's just SO MEAN TO ME" sob, sob, sob. And I know in all reality this will never completely stop. Girls, by nature, give their mothers hell. Oh, and there was also the phone call to my mom that same day with more sobbing "I JUST WISH you lived here so I could JUST LEAVE her with you for a few hours" followed by more sobbing. I only admit to this defeat because I swear it'll never happen again. Mark my words. Seriously. I mean it. I'll be tougher next time. I am a smart and edu-ma-cated woman! Surely I can outsmart a two year old?

Two months down

With only 10 months to go, I think this thing is gonna be easy!.... Not.

Obviously, I haven't been posting in the last few days. I just don't have the heart to try to be funny, witty, or  even attempt to put interesting thoughts together. I'll be ok, though. My poor little heart is just sad.

I have been keeping busy, though. I've just finished reading Twilight, which seemed to get better and better which each page I turned. I didn't really expect to like it that much, but by the end of the book I was hooked. My girlfriend, Heather, loaned the book to me, and I can't wait to start the next one.

Kimberly and I have started a book club. It's just me and her right now, but I have a feeling all the cool people will ended up wanting to be part of our "club". Our first book that we're going to discuss is Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I read a review about it in Town & Country and it seems it will be interesting.

One fun thing that I've done in the last week was my bedroom. I ordered a new comforter and bought some really great pillows and sheets at Ross. I lucked out with the sheets, too. I had found some sheets that would have looked great with the set, but they weren't in stock. So, I went up to Ross to find some high thread count sheets, and LOW AND BEHOLD.... they had the sheets!!! One set. Size Queen. AND, they were $20 cheaper than online! It was one of those moments that I couldn't believe my luck.

After it was all washed, ironed and put together, I think the final product looks good. It only took two hours to iron all that! At least I managed to do it without burning myself, lol...

Alyssa had her speech evaluation. I really liked the doctor that we saw, too. She was great with Alyssa and didn't make me feel like I'm a bad parent.... lots of Dr.'s manage to do this, y'know. So, anyhoo... we'll be going back next week. She said there was a small delay, but nothing to worry about. I think she's right, too. When we were in Ross the other day, Alyssa got frustrated and actually said "Look at da baby!" That was music to my ears. I'm noticing more and more words in her vocabulary each and every day.

No big plans for this weekend. Kimberly was supposed to visit, but now she has to work, so we rescheduled the visit in a couple of weeks. Heather's coming over tonight with wine. It will be a good girl's night, I just know it.

You probably think this blog is about you...

On a good day, of which I discovered I have had more than my fair share, I don't fall into other people's drama. Their problems are not my problems, and I can't put a cape on and rescue them, so their drama stays somewhat distant to me. Not that I'm not empathetic to a person's situation or plight, but I just can't help them other than to listen. Lately, though, I realize I have surpassed my capacity for being the "sounding board" for anyone. I've discovered that some people can really be so self-absorbed sometimes. They call me and complain on a regular basis with no regard to my feelings. I guess to give them some leeway, they might think I don't have any issues, but I don't appreciate being taken for granted. It doesn't make them "bad" people, but sometimes I need to vent, too. I have to recognize my limits, and I've drawn the line. Don't bother me, don't call me, find someone else to vent to, change your life if it's that bad 'cause no one else can do it for you, and life really IS too short, so don't waste it. I barely have the stamina to get through my own challenges right now. I can hardly resolve my anger over some things that normally would not even register with me. My situation has changed, and there's no shame in saying...... I need some space.

On a sidenote... I would rather be separated from the one I love for an entire year, than to spend every day with someone I would be miserable with. I really miss my husband. It's hard right now. I know this is just a stage, and there will be a light at the end of this long tunnel, but I'm sad. My heart is stretched.

..:: Carly Simon's "You're so vain" playing in the background::...

I'll burn that bridge over troubled waters after I cross it.

Two days ago, I burned my jawline when the curling iron was real good and hot. Felt the sizzle, too. Then, when I wasn't thinking, I scratched it this morning and made it much worse. Add to that my fall last night, and I think it's time to invest in a little more life insurance. It seems I can drive in the snow through Atlanta without wrecking, but I can't make it from the front door to the trashcan without seriously wiping out. I really cut the top of my foot up, too. It took three butterfly and balloon band aids just to cover the cuts.

Alyssa and I took our trip to TN. We had fun with family and friends, but there wasn't enough time for visiting everyone because we were snowed in one day. My dad had to get his tractor out and clear the snow and grade the driveway just so I could get my Jeep out the next day. Getting out was one thing, but coming back in we got stuck. Had to call my dad to come and rescue us. He walked up the driveway, which is pretty long, got in the Jeep, threw it in reverse, hit about 30mph, put it back in drive, and then proceeded to show the bats still remaining in hell how it's really done. I increased my lung capacity exponentially from holding my breath so long during this incident. At least I stayed out of his flower beds, though. I can't say the same about others. No names needed... T.O.M.

I've got to get back to my projects now that we're home. Normal chores and errands to be done, plus I have to get all the closets cleaned out for Goodwill. I already have about 100 hangers on my guest bed from what I've done so far. If only those little starving pygmies could eat hangers, I think I could cure world hunger.

For those of you who may not be aware of it, there are stages of emotions during deployments and unaccompanied tours. I hit a new one yesterday. The grumpy one. Thankfully, my husband is possibly the most understanding and patient person I know. Everything I threw at him, he just rolled with it. He let me pout and rant, then reminded me how much he loved me. He told me how if he were home, he'd be babying all my boo-boos. God, I miss him. Yesterday was just one of those days that I really could've used his comforting arms around me. From everything that happened, it seemed that me missing him just made it all harder. I had a guy rip me off of $45 for a repair on my gun. (And to you, you old man... you're a prick for charging me, and your little buddy flat-out lied when he said he wouldn't charge me.) I should've said that in the store, but I knew I was too close to the edge. I knew if I wasn't nice about it, I was going to be really nasty. So, I just kept a smile on my face, paid, and when he said "Nowa, listen heara... when you get a new sight from that there Taurus, you just bring it on back in here, and I'll be more than happy to put it on for ya".... I said, still smiling... "Don't worry, I won't be back. I'll get it done right this time". Smiled again, and walked out.

Even though it's not always a bed of roses... I AM getting skinny. I now can get back into my size 8 Gap jeans. They look awesome, too, if I say so myself . I was really surprised when I tried them on. I didn't think they'd fit, but they couldn't have fit better. So, that's a total of 15 pounds that I've lost so far since Bruce has been gone. I'm actually skinnier than when I met Bruce!!!!!! This makes me feel fabulous!

Can I offer you a cup of....

Not in the mood. Just not even in da mood. Some days are better than others. I acknowledge this. Some days are ordinary and we quickly forget. Some days are so wonderful that we never forget. Then there are the days we wish we could forget. While I'm at it, how about the last 5? Just go ahead and wipe my brain of all of it. This year is off to a wobbly start and if it weren't for my wonderful husband and my friend, Linda.... I'd be over the edge. There's that glimmer of "crazy" everytime I catch my reflection in the mirror. I guess it could be lack of sleep, lack of patience, lack of sex, or lack of food. With all those "lacks", it's no damn wonder I'm feeling evil.

One particular bit of wisdom that always applies, and that a Wicked Woman should never forget, is one should be careful where one puts one's expectations. It's perfectly alright to have them, just practice caution when applying them to certain people or events.

Oh, and just to put it out there in the Universe: To the lady at Wal Mart... I really don't care what you think is 'different'. Next time, have a nice warm cup of "Shut-the-Fuck-Up" with your breakfast. It'll do you good.