Happy New Year!!!

I have been so busy this week that I haven't had time to write. I have done almost every project on my to do list. Of the few that I have left to accomplish, painting is next. I bought some Kilnz yesterday to primer the baseboards in my bathroom. We had a leak about a year ago, and there are some water stains that I don't think just paint alone will cover. That'll probably take about two hours. Then on to doing the touch up paint throughout the whole house, which is a project that can only be started once Alyssa is in bed.

I mailed two care packages off to Bruce on the 22nd, and just got one of them back. I'm just sick about it. He says the address is correct, so I'm going back to the Post Office to find out the deal. It's about $15 a pop to mail a package, so if it comes back, that's just $15 gone for nothin'. I don't like that one bit.

I'm gettin' my hair did today!!!!  I'm about three weeks overdue according to my roots, and I can not wait!!! Between my new hair soon, and the fact that I've lost almost 15 pounds already, I'm feeling like a new person. My jeans that fit before I had Alyssa fit again. As a matter of fact, they even have some "eatin' room" in them. Oh! I recognize that girl in the mirror! She's been gone a while, but she's back, now. Since I have reached my first weight goal (which I thought would be impossible), I'm completely ready to go on to my next goal of 11 more pounds. That's it! It's my last goal... I'll be 140lbs, 5'8", and a size 4 or 6.

Tonight's New Years! It's the anniversary of the night that Bruce and I met. If there is one day in my life that determined the path that I'm on now, it's that night. Initially, I wasn't even going to go out that night. My buddy, Jesse, had invited me to go out to the Hard Rock Cafe in Baltimore, twice, but I said "No" both times. The third time he asked, he said "I know you... you're not doing anything but sitting around in your apartment. You need to get out and have some fun. Come with us!" So, I caved and showed up at his house around 7. Bruce was there when I got there. We took a limo into Baltimore and I found myself chatting about String Theory and Stephen Hawking with him, drinking the punch...lol, and being the only ones on the dance floor. It will always be a night I remember and laugh about. Fast forward several years, and here we are. Well, technically he's in South Korea and I'm here, but you know what I mean. I wouldn't trade him for the world, either. I can't believe how time has gone by so quickly with him. I guess the old saying of "Time flies when you're having fun" can apply to years, and not just days.

Well, tonight is going to be very low key here. I still have to get up with the two year old in the morning, so the only excitement here will be me watching a Nora Roberts movie on Lifetime that I recorded a few days ago. See you all in 2011! Please be safe, have a designated driver, and remember: there is no shame sleeping on someone's floor if you don't have a ride.

Snow flakes and sneezes

It's snowing here! Not much is sticking, but it's beautiful to watch. Alyssa's getting a kick out of it, too, and keeps saying " No? "... which if you're wearing your decoder ring, that means "snow".

We had a lot of fun yesterday. We skyped with Bruce in the morning while we opened her Christmas gifts. Then we skyped later last night and celebrated her birthday. She loved the pizza for dinner, and the chocolate cake was a big hit.

I'm still sick. When I woke up yesterday, it was bad. Today is not much better, but I'm taking some medicine for it. It doesn't seem to be helping with the constant sneezing, though. When I put Alyssa down for her nap today, I just climbed into bed to sleep. I was able to sleep about an hour, which is better than nothing, but this is one of those times that I really miss having Bruce here. If he were here, he would play with Alyssa and let me rest. Oh well, this cold will pass. I mean really, how long can it stick around??? All I can do is wait til I put her to bed and then draw a really hot bath to soak in. This is a new habit since Bruce has been gone, and I love it. It's sad in a way that it took him going away for me to lose weight and take better care of myself and my skin, but I keep reminding myself just how fabulous I will be the next time he sees me in person! Not to say I lacked fabulousness before, mind you.

No Grinches here.

Two years ago, today, I thought I had gas. Yep... gas. Oh, how my stomach hurt. I was eating antacids, massaging my tummy, and even resorted to rolling my stomach around on the big exercise ball. All to no avail. It was Christmas Eve. Isn't there some unwritten rule that you're not allowed to be sick or feel bad right at Christmas? Well, everything was hurting. My hips, my back, my big extended belly, and if I remember correctly... even my big toe hurt. Turns out, it wasn't gas. After hours of increasing 'gas pains', I realized I was in labor. It took a little convincing for Bruce. He was trying to tell me it was just Braxton Hicks. HA. He came very close to having his eyeball poked out. So, anyway, we made the trip up to the hospital (which is a very funny story within itself, but for another time). When we got there, they laughed and told me I was not ready. They said to "just go home and it might take two more days". TWO MORE DAYS? It was when I heard these words that I changed my mind. I wasn't 'even in da mood' for two days of that. What choice did I have though?

They were sweet enough to give me a morphine shot to dull the pain before they sent me home... which made me horribly sick. We came home, and while I writhed around and moaned in our bed every two to four minutes, Bruce peacefully slept beside me. After about two and half hours, I was yelling from the bathroom (in between uncontrollable moaning ) that I didn't give a damn what that nurse said TAKE ME BACK TO THE HOSPITAL! By the time we got back to the hospital, the nurses seemed to be rather surprised that I had moved along so quickly. Then I met the anesthesiologist. Bless his heart. That man had to leave his family on Christmas morning to come give me an epidural. There will always be a special place in my heart for him. Anyone who can relieve severe pain such as that so quickly deserves that much.

So, the 8.6 pound little girl I had that day will be two tomorrow. As if Christmas isn't wonderful enough, it will now always mean so much more to me. We are celebrating with Bruce, and other family members, via Skype tomorrow. I wish we were all together, but it is what it is. I've got a cute cake, chocolate ice cream, a banner, matching birthday plates and napkins, and lots of presents for both her birthday and Christmas. We are currently watching as many animated Christmas movies as we can cram into today and tomorrow. If you're going to do it, do it right!

I'd like to send birthday wishes to two of my other friends whose birthdays fall so close to Christmas.
Kim: you are the best friend anyone could ever, ever ask for. After almost 22 years of friendship, I have some of the most amazing memories. Thanks! I hope the 28th is a fabulous day for you.
Judi: I hope your birthday yesterday was wonderful. I'm so glad I happened to meet you that day in Indianapolis. You are such an amazing woman and I can't wait until we get together again. Even though we don't talk very frequently, you've had a big impact on my life. Also, thank you for putting Alyssa's name on your birthday cake. You are too sweet.

The wrapping of gifts, and consuming of wine, did not happen last night. I'll be doing that tonight.

OH! and one more awesome thing: I've hit one of my weight goals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On to the last 10 pounds!! Oh yeah, oh yeah, uh huh, uh huh! ..::shaking smaller booty::.. oh yeah, oh yeah, uh huh, uh huh!

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!

No, it's not Elmer Fudd... It's Rudolph.

Ugh. After not 'aving a cold for over 2 and 'alf years, I 'ave one. My eyes/forehead are itchy, my nose is running, and I'd give Rudolph a run for 'is money with my red nose. I'd give my little pinky toe to just go take a nap for a couple of hours. Lol, maybe next year.

Things are going good. I'm excited about Alyssa seeing all her Christmas presents from "Santa", and also her birthday presents. I think she's getting the idea of Santa now. We'll be celebrating Christmas that morning with Bruce via Skype, then we'll celebrate her birthday that night. Even though Alyssa and I will be the only ones eating cake, I went all out for the birthday plates, napkins, and banner. All I have to do now is pick up a birthday cake tomorrow and wrap all the presents (lol... with a glass/bottle of wine). I think it'll be an ice cream cake. The night of wrapping will include the glass/bottle of Merlot.

I love my husband. He is truly the sweetest man. I opened the gift that came last week and was so surprised. Like I wrote before, he said this was not a Christmas gift... it was just late. Turns out it was jewelry. An absolutely gorgeous eternity ring! I luuuuv it and smile every time I look down at it. It seems to wink back at me and say "bling, sparkle, bling". It's fabulous, just like me... and I'm so glad he thought the same thing ..::wink, wink::..

We're going to be watching as many Christmas movies as possible over the next few days, and to hell with what the pediatrician says about only two hours of TV a day! It's almost Christmas! Oh, the fun of a full day of "A Christmas Story."

I hope all of you and yours have a wonderful and warm Christmas! May you enjoy the day with all it's quirks and craziness. ;)

Tuesday is such a random day.

Have you ever given it any thought? Everyone loves each day of the weekend. Mondays are looked upon with dread. Even Wednesday is acknowledged as it's own day with the term "hump day". But Tuesday? It's just so random. At least Thursday is 'the day before Friday' and everyone feels good when it's Thursday... only Tuesday gets jipped of personality. It's just "Tuesday". Oh well. It's only that with all the discussion on the DADT repeal, I feel as if all the injustices in the world are rising to the surface. It's always either the homosexuals, heterosexuals, or Tuesday being oppressed.

I've been working on two care packages for Bruce. I'll be sending them out tomorrow morning once I have his complete address. Lol... it's been a challenge just getting bits of it at a time. I decorated the inside of the boxes just for the fun of it. There's a cartoon collage on one of them, with lots of pop art, and then Christmas clippings on the other. There were some cool black and white, random Xmas photos on that one. Neither will make it there before Christmas, but I still wanted to send one box that was related to the holidays.

Alyssa and I both woke up with something this morning. My ears and throat are bothering me, and she's coughing and sneezing. I hope it just goes away, and doesn't develop into anything more for either one of us. I think a big dose of Vitamin C is in my near future. How do I know this? Because I'm not just Claire.... I'm clairvoyant! Lol... oh, yeah, I went there.

I'm running out of projects to work on, and I'm about to have to resort to some heavy duty cleaning to keep myself busy. I guess I'll start with the floors. Ho hum. Maybe the garage will keep me busy for a couple of weeks. I've got several things I need to list on Craig's List, one of which is the Jeep Wrangler. If I sell it, then we'll be down to only one Jeep. It just doesn't seem right to me. But, Bruce has already started thinking about the new Jeep we'll buy after SK. If any of you haven't seen the new Jeep... it's something else. Truly a work of art and craftsmanship. I honestly get misty-eyed, and feel very patriotic, when I see the new commercial.

I'm off now. Someone is insisting that I sit on the couch and help her color. Life is hard... especially when you have to keep all the colors inside the lines.

Drool and Jewels

I've been all about babies and toddlers the past two days. As much fun as I've had, I can honestly say those little niggling feelings of "should I have another baby?" are gone. So, Bruce, if you're reading this... you're safe from my analytical what-if questions for at least another year. (He's on the other side of the world laughing and thinking "Yea? And how, exactly, were you planning on having one of those without me, anyway?")

Right now, Alyssa and her little buddy Nora are watching Toy Story. They are being perfect little angels. Just both sitting quietly on the couch, laughing together. Although, whenever they laugh I feel like I missed the joke. Oh well, I guess you have to be "Almost Two" to be in their click. I watched Lil' Evie yesterday and today. Talk about cute... oh wow, she's a charmer. She smiles twice as much as she drools, which is alot on both counts ;)

Eleven days down, and I'm am happy that it's gone by quickly. I have a box in my kitchen that is waiting to be opened. Even though Bruce and I had decided we weren't going to exchange Christmas presents, I received a gift at my front door today. He's says it's not for Christmas, it's just LATE. He also said I cannot open it until we Skype. It's killin' me!!!! I'm not going to look in the box... but I can tell it's jewelry. Oh, how I love things that sparkle.

Change and children... lots of each.

I have finally seen the upside to my husband being overseas..... I'm not hungry. Don't want the chocolate; don't want the second glass of wine; heck, I've been so busy that I've missed my own dinner three times in the last week. Finally, I see the pounds coming off. Today I hit a personal milestone and had a bonding moment with my scale, in which I thought for a moment that we might just become friends. It seems as if all my clothes BC (before child) are calling to me from the dark recesses of my closet. I want to whisper to them "Don't worry, my long missed, wonderful clothes... we'll be seeing each other soon."

Bruce and I Skyped this morning. It helps me soooo much to see and talk to him on the computer. When we get finished, I always feel as if I can get through the day. There's a big difference between talking to someone on the phone, which we've done on previous separations, versus actually seeing them on the screen. The visual definitely helps fill the void. I was up at the ungodly hour of 5am to take a shower, so that I'd look beautimous when we chatted. It's going to be a big day today for us. I'm watching my friend's eight month old daughter today and tomorrow. Erin, the mom, is hilarious. She came over yesterday evening to drop off a "couple" of things for Evie. LOL... a "couple" of things which will help keep her cutie entertained and fed for several hours, but I'm thinking it's more like a month's worth. Although, I'm laughing about it now... I can just imagine that around two today, I'll be thinking there's nothing for her to play with ;)~ Poor thing is teething, too. Wish me luck!

I finally closed on our house yesterday. As much as I love, and rave, about USAA, this turned out the be a not-so-pleasant experience. But, at least it's done. Done. Done. Done.

I finished all my Christmas cards, but won't be able to get them in the mail til Saturday, probably. I've got to buy some stamps, which means going to the Post Office, and with all the babysitting I'm doing over today and tomorrow, it's going to be Saturday when I get out. Oh, I'm also babysitting for another girlfriend tomorrow night. She was so sweet to watch Alyssa a few times before Bruce left. Now it's my turn to return the favor. I can imagine that the next few days of 'toddler galore' will put to rest any romanticized feelings I may have recently had about having another baby.

Oddly enough, I have noticed some changes in my routine that I didn't expect. I have taken to watching TV in my bedroom, which is something I never did while Bruce was here. I think it makes me feel closer to him to be in 'our' room. I switched around a bunch of pictures upstairs, and moved a couple of other things around. It amazed me at how much cozier everything is upstairs now. Just a better flow all the way around.
Another change has been the computer. I used to get on first thing in the morning while Alyssa was watching Sesame Street and drinking her milk, but now I have no desire to get on unless I'm Skyping with Bruce. Alyssa's been watching less TV, too. We've been working on different projects, so I just turn on some music for her or get her crayons and coloring book out.

So, in one of my previous posts I made a reference to "Eddie's Auto" which was some radio guy who used to call people and get them worked up over the phone... to the point of deciding on a meeting place to fight. Well, while I was watching trash TV in my bedroom the other night, I saw a showed called "Phowned" which was hilarious... it reminded me of Eddie's Auto. Get some poor unsuspecting sap and call them with something upsetting. The great thing about the show is that you see their reactions, because their friends or family are in on the whole thing, and they've set up hidden cameras. The one I saw was where this teenager gets a call that the limo reserved for her prom is unavailable.... I swear you'd have thought this girl had just received news that all her hair was going to fall out.

My weekend on steriods (The weekend, not me)

Let's see... where did I leave off? Oh, I remember now... I was having a moment of positivity. Yeah, well, that passed. If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, then I'm on steroids. Friday started out good, but took a turn for the worse in the afternoon. That morning, my friend came over for coffee and our daughters played. That afternoon was supposed to be the closing on our house. We decided to refinance (back in September) since the rate was so good. Everything was done on our part for a while. But USAA seemed to suffering from mini failures in getting their stuff done. They ran me up the wall on Friday. Kept changing the times, kept changing the info... and my most favorite part... they assigned an attorney who was a "Class A" BITCH. This twit thought it was acceptable to begin yelling at me on the phone. She was supposed to be at my home at 4:30.... (this is the short version of the story), rescheduled, then called to tell me she might be here by 8pm. Might. 8PM. I dont' mind accommodating someone else's schedule, but I do mind someone taking an unprofessional attitude with me. OMG... I'm still mad about it, too! I was Skyping with Bruce when she called, so he heard everything on my end of the conversation. I was cool. She was not. I'm just not in the mood to go into it though. I'll just leave it at this: The closing didn't happen.

Friday night was fun, though. My friend across the street came over for a glass of wine, and then my friend from Atlanta arrived. More wine was poured. And then some more. We laughed, all talked simultaneously, drank some more, and repeated it all over. At some point, honey whiskey was poured. Thank god I only sipped it. I finally called it a night at 2am because I was going to Skype with Bruce at 6am. I didn't feel so cute when the alarm went off, but I was happy to be able to chat with him. Alyssa and I had a lazy afternoon together, but then she started grunting in a weird way. I'm so tired, I'm not going into the whole thing, but long story short, I decided to take her to the ER to have it checked. First time in ER with her. She's never sick. It all went OK, and I'm still glad I took her in. I didn't want to wait until Monday to have her checked. Well, we got home from the ER and I finally got her into bed at 10:30. Then, as exhausted as I was, I could NOT fall asleep. I heard every little noise in the house. So, I ended up cleaning half my bathroom and trying to read a book that I couldn't concentrate on. I'll be taking a nap today, no doubt. That's it.... that's all she wrote... then she scribbled.

Louis was right: What a wonderful world it is.

Although I am missing my husband with more intensity than I thought possible, there is a battle within me going on between sadness and happiness... all because I have such a wonderful family and terrific friends. For without them, I would be moping around, possibly swimming in sadness and tears. That's not the case, though. For starters, my friend across the street (Heather), had Alyssa and I over for dinner on Tuesday. I now consider Carbonara to be comfort food. Toss in some salad, and some oven-roasted garlic and olive oil for the bread; Mmmm mmmm, food so good it'd make yo tongue jump up and smack the roof of yo mouth! The dinner was enjoyed with a glass of wine, too. Nothing like good friends, good food, and good wine. Then my Superman called me at 7am today. I couldn't think of a better way to start my day. Even though I know our cell phone bill will be through the ROOF, I don't care.... I simply don't care. It's worth it! Later in the morning, Alyssa and I ran some errands just to get out of the house. When we got home I went to go check the mail, only to find a package at my front door. This is what was in the package....

The most exquisite purple orchids from my lovely sister in TN. How sweet was that? Nobody has ever given me orchids, either, so they're even more special. Follow that up with a phone call from another friend (Erin), who so eloquently expressed how she's there for me if I ever need her. Top it off with another girlfriend (Kimberly) sending me an email letting me know she was thinking of me. Instead of writing back, I called her. She is utterly fabulous, too. I've thought so since college, when we met. This is the gal that I went and got my first tattoo with. Well, that phone call turned out to include making plans for her coming in from Atlanta tomorrow night! Yippee! I am really sooo excited. We'll be eating chicken salad and sharing a bottle of wine, then we're going to do her hair (this is becoming a tradition for us). The icing on the cake is that I'll be able to Skype with Bruce at 6 in the morning. :::Heart swells:::

So, all in all... I'm doing OK. I did find myself reading old poetry online today while Alyssa was napping, which is uncharacteristically romantic for me, but in my defense, it could be considered educational. One thing I realized, that I never did before, is that Elizabeth Barrett Browning was a truly gifted poet. I guess you just absorb and take what you need, depending on what stage in life you are. I, also, read some Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, of whom my Grandfather was a fan. I now understand why. I think I'll close this posting with something from Ms. Browning: Sonnets from the Portuguese: XIV

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only.  Do not say
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—
For these things in themselves, Belovëd, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so.  Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity.

Not gone... just not here.

I just put Alyssa down to sleep. I don't know whether it's better to have some time to myself or not. Today went well. We played together, colored together, and she constantly carried around the Elmo book with her daddy's voice-recorded story. I guess it was at about 5 o'clock that I took the book away from her to tape a piece of cardboard over the buttons. She'd been constantly pushing the buttons, and I was scared it would jack up the recording. When I did this, she started crying immediately. I tried to reassure her that I would give it back just as soon as I was finished, but the crying didn't stop. It didn't stop two minutes later when I gave the book back, either. At that point, she didn't even want the book and kept pushing it away. Then she walked into the kitchen, sat down in the corner and continued to cry. I tried to console her, but she didn't want me to touch her. She just kept pushing me away. So, I decided to give her a few minutes to get it all out, and when I came back she just put her arms up in the air for me to pick her up. I did, but she still didn't stop crying. Then she started saying "Deedee". Whew... it tore my heart out. I couldn't even talk for a minute for fear that I would start crying. I just rubbed her back and hugged her. It's one thing to feel like I have it all under control myself, but it's another to watch tears fall out of my daughter's eyes, knowing she doesn't understand where Daddy is. I felt as if I were doing really well up until this point. I guess I took it for granted that she, being 23 months, wouldn't really pick up on him being gone, and that she'd just adjust. Wrong. She knows, and she's sad.

This is really the first time that I've had to deal with my daughter being truly sad. She is such a happy little girl, and rarely cries. Even if she falls down, as long as I ask "Are you OK?", she'll say "yeah", smile and keep on going. I could tell from her cry today that her little heart was breaking. I swear, I would give anything to take that sadness from her. I can deal with anything, or just about anything, but seeing her cry those little pitiful sobs, and knowing I couldn't do anything really tore me up. I did all I could do. I held her, rubbed her back, kissed her cheek, and talked to her soothingly. Once the crying eased up, we tossed a ball around and played with an etch-a-sketch together. She ate dinner right after this, and seemed to be feeling better, but when we went to do our bedtime routine, I could tell she was thinking of her daddy. He's used to be the one to give her a bath, brush her teeth, and read her a bedtime story. That was their together time. I'm trying to fill those shoes, but I know I can't replace him. I really hope that once we start Skyping she will realize he's not "gone", he's just can't be here.

Slow day

Stick a fork in me, I'm done. I had about 3.5 hours of sleep last night, and it's caught up with me. I did get to talk to Bruce late last night, though, which was nice. Although, I know how the separations are from previous experience, it is always an adjustment. No matter how 'used' to it I get, I still just miss the man.

Alyssa and I had a pretty good day. We watched a Christmas movie together and ran a couple of errands. One of my girlfriends had us over for dinner tonight, and it was delicious! I rented "Sex in the City 2" to watch, but I think I'll watch it when little miss goes down for her nap tomorrow.

Sounds like my little girl is still awake for some odd reason. I'm off to check on her.

Irony

The irony of my situation is "time": In one aspect, I just need a little bit; In another, it's something I have entirely too much of.

Yesterday was really hard for me... today, even harder. My eyes are swollen, but I have come to find out that with enough eyeliner and concealer, you can hide almost anything. I may possibly be channeling Tammy Faye Baker at this point. Get worried if I call you asking for money, with a by-line of "let me help you, help yourself".

But anyway, I know women who cry at least twice a week. Whether they do it alone or not, they admit to it. One of my friends told me she simply finds it cathartic, whether something is bothering her or not. I can't relate to this. Although, in retrospect, I have had times in my life that were bad enough that I may have cried more often... but, that's not the life I am living now, so I rarely cry. The only times I have really cried in the last four+ years, I can count on one hand.

1. While pregnant and traveling, I cried one night/morning because I was so sleep deprived from staying awake wondering if i was going to be a good mother. I reached a 'crazy point' where I convinced myself I wasn't. Poor Bruce, he woke up and had to talk me back from the ledge (figuratively speaking, that is).
2. While pregnant, I asked Bruce what he thought of my outfit, to which he responded "I don't really like the shirt with those shorts". That sent me into the closet in tears. Go figure.
3. The moment I saw my daughter for the first time, I cried big, fat tears of joy. Man, she was sooo cute.
(See a trend here?... hormones during pregnancy, and considering it only happened three times, I'd say that doesn't qualify me as a cry baby.)
4. In September, when my grandmother passed. Self-explanatory, I would think.

So, all in all, I guess I'm either tough, happy, or hide my emotions well. Or maybe, all of the above. The past three days, though... well, let's just say I need more eyeliner.

Yesterday, I had just finished getting pretty and came downstairs to see what Bruce was doing. Since Alyssa was napping, he'd decided to record the story books I'd bought for her. I walked into the room, realized what he was doing, and thought "Oh, hell no! I can't stay in here for this!" Fighting the sudden knot in my throat, I barely made it outside with the phone to call one of my best friends. I thought listening to someone else talk would be a wonderful distraction and might even help keep my eyeliner on the upper half of my face. Well... she wasn't home. Called Mom and she wasn't home. Called another friend... you guessed it, she wasn't home either! The third time I got a voice recording I was angrily, and selfishly, thinking "What the hell PEOPLE!?!? It's not like any of you WORK!". Shows how well my brain was working. Just as I was leaving my third message, I realized it was Sunday. Oops.


So, on to today... thank god it's almost over. Goodbye is THE hardest part for me. This is not the first goodbye my husband and I have shared. We've been separated several times before. Sometimes for months at a time, but it doesn't get easier. This one was by far the hardest. It was the saddest for me. Maybe because of the potential length of time, or maybe because I'm scared of being left alone with this toddler... I don't know. I did great up until we walked him to the security checkpoint. But, then he just had to look at me with those wonderful sweet eyes and say "I love you sweetheart" and then wrap his arms around me. I don't remember much else he said right after that 'cause all I could think was "I'm literally going to sob! Can't sob, can't sob, can't sob."  I grabbed a tissue, dabbed my eyes, told him how much I loved him, and wished him safe flights.

He's such a wonderful man. As soon as he reached his first layover, he called and asked if we wanted to Skype after he got something to eat. So, we did. It was fun, and I'm happy to write that I managed to get through the whole thing without a single tear. See? I'm already back to being tough. I just had to rub some dirt in it.