Tuesday, May 31, 2011

White legs. Brown chicken, brown cow

Anything can turn into a compulsion, once you do it enough. After two straight days of cleaning, I find myself walking through the house looking for some surface that hasn't been vacuumed, dusted, scrubbed or polished. I'm bordering on OCD at this point. All I have left to do is iron a tablecloth and Alyssa's adorable little dress and I'm officially done! Oh, and whiten my teeth. I recently sent some pictures of myself, in my new bikini, to Bruce and the one I took which showed a close up of my face was almost scary. They looked.... um, not white. They're really not that bad so I attribute it to the lighting in the room, but either way whiter teeth=looking younger. So, off I went to buy the new Crest whitening strips... the two hour advanced kind 'cause I don't have time to mess around. Random fact: did you know that white wine stains your teeth more than red wine? Yep, it does, due to the acids found in the white wine. They get underneath the enamel and cause more staining than red wine. Good thing I prefer reds, huh?

I hate to admit it, but I've been allowing Sesame Street, Dinosaur Train, and Word World to babysit Alyssa the past two days. She thinks it's fabulous, but I feel very guilty. It IS cute to hear her sing the songs and watch her dance, though. I think she got her dancing genes from my father. When I watch her, I swear she's about break out with "Wooly Bully" at any moment. Speaking of my dad, yesterday was his birthday. I missed the party **sniff, sniff** They all (crazy, lovable family) went out to his girlfriend's house to cookout and swim. When I spoke to him yesterday morning, he told me he'd bought new white swimming trunks.... which is funny on no less than three different counts. 1: I haven't seen him in shorts, of any kind, in many years. 2: He has the most protected skin (which translates into "Whitest legs around") and 3: White swimming trunks??? Oh, lol, I had to warn him about the dangers of a wet, white bathing suit. I told him to be careful and check 'em out before going for a dip with everyone, only to find out, too late, that his downstairs mix-up could be seen. I may have hit a nerve because he then brought up the fact that he has a picture of me that's he's going to auction off to my brother and sister. Supposedly, he has one of me with a plumber's smile from his last visit down here. I love going for the shock factor, though, so I may just send them all one of a full moon. Sure beats being blackmailed.

Now, I'm going to toot my own horn for a moment. I'm tan, my toes are rockin', poppy hot, and I have finally hit 130 pounds. I did my color and highlights, too. So, all-in-all it's not gonna get any better than this... without surgery, that is. I'm feeling pretty cute, very excited, and enjoying the clean house. Not too long, and I'll be enjoying my husband! **Bow chica bow bow** ;)

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